straight.to.your.eyes.gahaha

insights

2011-12-28T05:10:00.009+08:00

Sometimes all we do is put the blame on others, but never on ourselves. Sometimes all we want to do is rage, but never to empathise and help. Assistance is far from the subject.

I have to say that uniformative debacles, stupid remarks and unclear, vague thoughts on homosexuals have little impact on me. They do, somehow make me realise that people can only do so much, yet so little. They make me realise that we are living in a society where people are more likely to find faults and throw nasty remarks instead of sitting along and listen, so to speak.

Yes, sometimes you just have to listen.

We are never one of those who would willingly put ourselves in someone else's shoes and live his or her life for one day. I have yet to encounter any sort of understanding behaviour. And yet here we are campaigning on God's wrath over gays and such. How DO YOU know that? What disgusts me much is that we act like we know everything, like we've been there and done that, when in fact, fictions are what we have been thriving on. So much for us smart-asses, eh?

Yes, as sinful as it is to be gays (or shall I rephrase, to be BORN as gays), what makes us any different from them? A tad better than them? Does it make you more religious than before? Tell me which part of the religion that sanctions that and I'll retract this post. Just a few questions to ponder upon, what if that gay-next-door you've been cursing never fails to perform his prayers 5 times a day, reads the Quran, and scores well in the exam; while you are not even close to that?

It makes me sad that sometimes this one particular fact can turn you into one of the freaks of nature, the sinners, and many other ill remarks which I can't bring myself to type here. Why is that so? How does being gay affect his or her particular career? How does being gay makes you stupid and unworthy of the right, appropriate treatment? As a human being, at least? One second this person is a smart academician, the next thing you know he's a freak-weirdo-sinful creature of God. Do you know how sick sometimes people can be?

We are never gonna be them, so we say. Now let's just take a walk in their shoes. Feel this from the depths of your heart.

"Everyone else in the world can get married with the person that they love. I on the other hand, cannot. When all of my friends talk about girls and hot women, I can only pretend to be interested. Do you know how excluded I feel? I cannot tell anyone; not my parents, friends, girlfriends. This very heavy secret is mine to keep for all eternity except for really close friends who are rare. When people talk demeaningly of homosexuals in my presence, I only nod halfheartedly. It seemed distasteful to be insulting part of who I am as a person. I cry all the time and contemplate suicide sometimes, especially when I am reminded of how different I am. And I can’t even do anything about it. There’s no one to talk to, no solution that is provided.

Society seemed to have forgotten that I am not JUST gay. I am also a student. A son. A Malaysian." <Sex Songsang Sin>

enough torture these people are going through. Why add another? Think you are God?

thanks to CEKU for the great insight.

ps: I'm not advocating for gay rights, no. I'm merely stating all these from a more humane point of view. I, however, am declaring that the space that I live in, the space around me, that revolves around me will always be a safe space.

100

2011-12-20T03:49:00.004+08:00

I don't want us to not have things to say, after few years of being together in the future.

I don't want us to ever feel bored with each other.

I don't want us to lose the trust and faith that we have for each other.

I don't want to lose the love.

I don't want to lose you.

I don't want us to end, one way or another.

I keep recalling the past. My past, and yours. I don't know why it is so hard for me to just move on and start anew. But then, despite some of them bearing things that hurt me, there are some that move me and make me smile.

For whatever it is that you do that makes me smile, thank you. I love you. Happy 100th days of US =)

)^)^&_%)#&%*&)#@&%)@#%(&)&

2011-12-11T04:45:00.002+08:00

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
-that is a lot of jerawat. Must be stress

2. How much cash do you have on you?
-haha. RM10.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR?"
-pour?

4. Favorite planet?
-as a Virgo baby, I'm obliged to like Venus. Haha

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
-an unknown person

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
-New Heights by A Fine Frenzy

7. What shirt are you wearing?
-a sleeveless that says 'somewhere along the way we lost our heads'

8. Do you "label" yourself?
-I don't think so

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
-Ipanema, Fippers, Adidas.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
-bright when studying. Dark when sleeping

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
-I don't even know who took this survey before me

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
-haha. Hahahahhaha. Some stuff

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
-"ok.. thx" and "love u 2"

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
-somewhere in Taman U?

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
-hmm. I say a lot of words.

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
- =) my other half

18. Last furry thing you touched?
-berry

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
-I don't do drugs.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
-err, none?

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
-I can't quite think of a decent answer

22. Your worst enemy?
-I don't think I have enemies.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
-nothing. Just plain black.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
-"just try and discuss with them first. If anything, just contact me"

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
-the ability to fly. Then I'd be able to generate a million bucks

26. Do you like someone?
-yes

27. The last song you listened to?
-Wounded - Good Charlotte

rotten

2011-10-24T03:04:00.002+08:00

Some people have feelings, it's just that they choose to get over them and be tough instead.

The question is, are you tough enough to overcome them? Or rather, are you tough enough to face them?

I'm not a saint. I've never been good. I've been in a position of not knowing how should I feel things. But sometimes it hurts. Yes, despite having a rugged exterior, I'm still a girl who knows the meaning of hurt.

What makes it more complicated is that one particular fact: it is YOU who choose what you want to do with those feelings. Sometimes we just have to remember that it is nobody's fault, the situation makes it all rotten, and worse of all, you can do nothing but to just face the fact and swallow it. Alone.

ps: I don't know where this is heading. All I know is that I wanna end this with you. That is all.

someone like you

2011-10-20T00:11:00.004+08:00

When I first saw you, yeah I got the immediate attraction there. Sort of like a micro-crush. But I didn't really like you. Ironic, isn't it? Back then the only thing I liked about you was your cuteness. I looked forward to seeing you and the rest. But I didn't look for love. I felt hopeless. That is when you and the rest took away all my sadness, my sickness and made me feel alive again.

The fact that you often asked me things during the meeting made things worse. I went "budak ni dah takde time lain nak tanye? Aku tengah nak mencatat ni". But nevertheless, I did answer anyway. All one-liners though.

God, my thoughts of you back then were not that appealing. But I thought you and your friends are all cool and fun to be with. We became fast friends in no time. When you asked THE question, I still can't believe how much trust and honesty I had for you, that it surprised me as well.

The long talks hooked me to you. The security I found with you. Those immediately light my heart. Whatever stories you shared with me, I felt somehow connected to them that I could feel whatever that you were feeling at that time. Call me weird, whatever. But yeah, I felt that.

Then came that feeling. That one particular feeling which made me question my stand before.

I can't imagine myself being with someone like you. Seriously. I never thought I'd be with someone like you. Someone quite creatively insane like you. You are everything: mad, crazy, nuts, out-of-this-world, etc.

And here I am wearing your shirt, and embracing the leftovers of your smell, missing the hugs and your touch.

Saya sayang awak. No doubt about that. Full-stop.

2011-10-10T00:42:00.001+08:00

"You make me live, not simply exist" - Sophie Ellis-Bextor

?

2011-09-14T16:30:00.003+08:00

Okay, tipulah kalau aku cakap aku tak tertekan.

Then thing is, I enjoy stress. But sometimes things can be a bit overwhelming. Dengan FYP, JKM, belajar, itu, ini, kadang-kadang aku rasa serabut jugak. Memang la kat muka aku tak nampak aku serabut, tapi kalau aku dah mula membebel-bebel tak tentu pasal dalam kereta, bawak laju-laju, ada la yang tak kena tu.

Pasal JKM, aku enjoy buat kerja. Aku enjoy berprogram, tapi kadang-kadang orang assume kita kena gembira 24/7 hanya kerana kita sudi mengorbankan masa sendiri untuk kesenangan orang lain. Mind you, I have feelings too. Aku memang seronok tolong orang, dll, tapi kena faham jugak, aku pun manusia biasa. Kalau aku tak buat silap, aku bukan manusia.

Tambah lagi masalah belajar, boleh dikatakan agak tertekan jugak dibuatnya. Nasib baik aku suka belajar. Jadi tak jadi isu sangat.

ps: I hate it when I mix personal issues with study or work.

for things to be quiet?

2011-09-12T05:21:00.003+08:00

"We won't wed. We just won't"

To you, whom I loved dearly

I just want you to know that silence can sometimes tell everything.

Lately a few people asked me how we met. It was a struggle really, trying to summon all the strength to tell the story. All of a sudden I felt a little lighted-up, despite the nothingness between us. And so the story went, unfinished though. But somehow it reminded me of us. Of how we used to be.

I won't start my sentence with "if this is really the end of everything", because it really is. But I just want you to know that you are the best thing that has ever occurred in my life. Ever.

Despite the long 6 years, you are still the only one who can make my heart skips a beat. Yes, you still hold the position. But as sorry as I am now, I forgot to feel, and I don't think I can have the same feelings with anyone else as I did when I was with you.

But then, it's okay. I'm okay with whatever it is now. Yes, I officially suck.

"We had love but we still said goodbye"

ps: please don't call me 'sayang'. I'm not your 'sayang' anymore. Please don't buy me things.

a week with budak-budak

2011-09-12T03:03:00.005+08:00

Ya, saya rindu anda semua.

Saya rindu anda yang mula-mula sangat timid dan penakut tetapi kemudiannya menjadi sangat bersemangat.

Saya rindu pada anda yang kadang-kadang loyar buruk.

Saya rindu pada anda yang blur-blur, jawab soalan pun macam nak taknak je.

Saya rindu pada anda yang kejap-kejap nak gelak tapi tahan bila cik seranta garang buat announcement.

Lepas ni anda semua harus belajar berdikari. In university you only have yourself. Learn to survive and know people.

Jika jumpa saya, tegurlah. Saya bertemu dengan ~1588 pelajar termasuk pelajar kanan, mungkin agak sukar saya nak ingat muka anda. Yang mana saya tak tegur tu, harap jangan kecil hati ya.

2011-08-29T08:15:00.001+08:00

"They're kids who aren't mature enough to have a sensible conversation"

=)

2011-08-28T16:59:00.003+08:00

You know you have to stop when:

-questions are returned NOT as answers but harassment instead

-you get some nonsense one-liner as your answer

-you deal with people who skimmed through (note the word usage) at whatever you've typed in and made a fool out of themselves by returning silly questions you know would be answered in that particular read.

How to stop:

-never seek replies. Especially from indirect sources. Not reliable.

-open Youtube

-watch funny videos

-laugh yourself away

ps: I should really develop an algorithm for this.

Tetrastar - Memory - Acoustic (Sugarcult cover)

2011-08-28T00:08:00.000+08:00

The reason I put this on loop is because of the tattoo on her arm. That love.

tengok dramakah kamu?

2011-08-27T06:09:00.007+08:00

Salam and hi

Haha lately asyik jadi shooting target je. Agaknya kalau aku jadi kicking pad ni, mahu lunyai jugak.

I don't fight fire with fire.

So anyway

Ramai macam nak marah aku, kenapa aku tak tengok drama kat TV. Cakap aku bajet omputeh bagai. Aduh la. Jangan la cakap macam tu. Aku memang tak follow kebanyakan jenis drama dalam dunia ni. Drama Melayu ka, soap operas kat TV ka, sinetron ka, drama Thai ka, Pinoy ka, Hindustan ka, Cina ka. The only series that I follow are The Big Bang Theory and Battlestar Galactica. Ni bukan takat minat, memang addict habis. Member pakai baju BSG pun aku boleh menggelupur. Rasa macam nak curi je.

Aku adalah jugak tengok series kat TV. Tapi setakat tengok je la. Minat tak pun. Ada yang bagus, ada yang tak. Terpulang la pada yang menonton ye :)

Banyak reason kenapa aku tak suka tengok drama. Antaranya:

1) plot tipikal.

Terutama drama Melayu. Balik-balik cerita orang kaya multimilionnaire bagai. Cuba la tunjuk drama orang miskin sikit. Tak semua orang kerja bisnesman. Ramai jugak yang kerja pegawai kerajaan, peniaga di pasar malam, mahupun tukang sapu kat supermarket. Aku rasa ada satu drama telemovie kat TV yang aku suka, Pondok Buruk. Kat Astro Ria dulu ada tunjuk. Pada aku telemovie ni boleh jadi benchmark untuk orang yang nak buat drama. Simple, tapi berkesan.

Lagi satu agak tak boleh blah, sinetron Indonesia. Kalau yang tahyul tu, memang super tahyul. Siap effects bagai (guna Vegas Pro je aku rasa). Pastu mesti nak zoom kat muka slow-slow, and watak-watak mesti suka cakap sorang-sorang. Wuuuu. Plot mesti nak pasal cinta adik-beradik la, pastu akan ada sorang ni yang super jahat, and watak yang kena tindas tu mesti cam sengal pulak tak reti report polis ke apa ke. Haiyaaa.

Sekarang ni, aku rasa macam dah ada satu trend pulak buat drama cinta Islamik. Tahajjud Cinta, Stanza Cinta, adalah lagi banyak lagi. Haih =_=. Semalam tengok cerita Tahajjud Cinta tu (mind you, aku tengok sebab mak aku suruh tengok), aku rasa macam tak kena je cerita tu. The only thing yang kena pada aku is Tiz Zaqyah yang comel bila pakai spek. The rest tu aku rasa macam banyak yang tak kena je. Guna hadis la apa la. Entah. Tak cukup ilmu nak cakap pasal ni so I'll keep my mouth shut anyways.

2) banyak tunjuk benda tak betul.

Contoh terdekat, CSI. Tolonglah. Ingat senang-senang je ke nak trace DNA orang? Pastu kita yang tengok ni rasa mende tu macam sangatlah mudah dan senang lagi cool dan menyeronokkan. In reality, they're not. Especially kalau nak cerita bidang forensik kat Malaysia. Mana ada! Kerja susah beb. Takde yang cool. Anything can be cool if you thought of it as cool. Aku tahu pasal forensik kat Malaysia sebab aku pernah tengok post mortem mayat kena bunuh secara LIVE depan mata. Waktu tu geng satu sekolah gi interview pegawai forensik di Hospital Ipoh. I'm pretty sure it's the same case overseas.

Currently takde lagi facilities yang membolehkan anda-anda semua membuat pembedahan (ACCURATELY) secara virtual. Enggak ada ya. Setakat viewing je ada. Rajin-rajin la baca Discovery Magazine. Dari situ aku tau banyak benda tipu kat TV ni. Ingat series kat AXN semua tu betul sangat ke? Awuuu TT

Kalau drama Melayu (and certain international dramas) pulak, kadang-kadang scene tu cam tak kena je. Contoh scene dalam mahkamah berdebat bagai. Siap boleh jalan-jalan dari kerusi tu. Mama pun tengok jadi malu pulak. Mana ada dalam mahkamah gitu. Ingat dalam mahkamah tu macam dalam bahas ala parlimen ke? Heck no.

3) pelakon dalam cerita tu tak reti berlakon

Yang nampak fake gila. Over. One of my biggest no-no. Kalau cerita lawak aku boleh terima.

4) dialog skema

Haihh =_= kadang-kadang bila terdengar dialog drama gini (terutama drama Melayu), terus aku spontan tanya adik aku "weh memang ada eh yang cakap gini dalam kehidupan di alam realiti?". Aduh. Nak gaduh ayat bunga-bunga. Kalau betul-betul, aku ko je cakap. Huhu. Nak bagi contoh aku tak terfikir plak. Nanti la ada tengok aku terus update kat sini. Ehe.

Kalau international dramas, aku tak pernah lagi dengar dialog skema gitu. Probably because of the language itself. Kalau Hindustan apa semua tu, memang tak dapek nak komen la. Tak faham pun TT

5) budak kecik sebagai watak utama

Aku tak suka budak-budak. 'nuff said.

Okay dah. Nak settle analysis PSM.

cik adik~

2011-08-27T06:00:00.000+08:00

bak kate Nor Katrina Anis

"banyak sangat baca novel kot.."

=_=

Superpowerless - We Throw Shapes - Official Music Video

2011-08-26T21:30:00.000+08:00

I'd go gay for you Jaylyn. I really would.

p/s: that would really solve everything, right? Eheh

mungkin saya patut..

2011-08-24T07:00:00.001+08:00

1. Kekasih saya adalah : Bubu, Casper, Cincan

2. Saya sedang mendengar : We Throw Shapes by Superpowerless. I've been repeating this since yesterday

3. Mungkin saya patut : cari bahan untuk PSM

4. Saya baru sudah : gomoi Cincan

5. Beza rakan, sahabat, kawan : tiada beza

6. Saya tidak faham : kenapa orang susah sangat nak bertanya

7. Saya perlu mencari : bahan untuk PSM

8. Ayat terakhir yang dikatakan kepada saya : entah-entah tipu tak

9. Makna kehidupan : bila kita puas hati dengan apa yang kita ada

10. Cinta itu adalah : sesuatu yang tak boleh dielak. Ainul cakap: komitmen. Saya agak setuju juga.

11. saya paling suka : Bubu and family

12. Saya akan cuba : memahami dan memaafkan

13. Mengapa rakyat Malaysia suka menggunakan LAH di akhir ayat mereka : kalau pakai loh dah macam Indonesia pulak

14. Telefon bimbit saya : ada 2

15. Katil saya : selalu semak, dan saya selalu end up tidur kat katil kawan saya Sarah Eleena

16. Soalan yang bagi saya tidak perlu ditanya : Soalan yang anda sudah tahu jawapannya tapi masih mahu tanya.

17. Teknologi adalah : salah satu oksigen saya

18. Bagaimana saya boleh memasak masakan yang saya paling pandai masak : err, sebab semua orang tahu masak makanan tu?

19. Semalam :

20. Hari ini : saya akan settlekan semua kerja yang patut

21. Malam ini saya akan : tengok tv sampai pengsan

22. Esok pula saya akan : jadi orang gaji pada waktu pagi, main dengan kucing-kucing, dan online

23. Saya betul2 inginkan : 4 flat.

24. badminton atau futsal : dua-dua pun okay

25. karaoke : TIDAK bagi saya. Menyanyi seorang diri lebih melegakan jiwa. Karaoke bukan cara saya menghilangkan stress atau berseronok

26. kereta : Honda S2000 atau Civic. Sekarang guna Ford Lynx Ghia

27. Bilik yang terang atau gelap : terang bila sedang belajar (saya seorang rabun gelap yang sangat teruk). Saya boleh tidur dalam apa jua keadaan bila sudah mengantuk. Bila saya migraine, bilik tersebut haruslah gelap.

28. Makanan jepun adalah : bukan citarasa saya

29. Ayat terakhir yang nak anda katakan pada seseorang : kejarlah dia selagi mampu.

30. Siapa yang anda tag : Semua

facts

2011-08-24T02:00:00.002+08:00

fact #1: PSM calls for a therapy. At least for me.

Thesis sains komputer (terutama kalau yang ambil system development), ada SDLC, kena buat SRS SDD dan sewaktu dengannya. Tambahan pada benda-benda biasa yang ada pada thesis. *jurusan lain macam mana eh?

fact #2: ya, saya sudah kembali ke flyweight O_O baju kebaya pun dah jadi macam baju pendekar zaman dulu.

Takpe waktu raya mesti naik bantamweight semula. Dulu boleh la habis 1 round circuit training dalam masa belas-belas minit. Sekarang ni.. tak sanggup nak time masa sendiri =_=

fact #3: Superpowerless is getting better. Their music is simply me.

fact #4: I believe in the power of questioning and reasoning.

fact #5: 8-bits are the most wonderful form of art in the world.

The music, the pixelated cartoon images, simply mesmerizing.

=_=

2011-08-22T17:59:00.000+08:00

=_=

p/s: anyone knows SLAM?

.

2011-07-28T17:12:00.001+08:00

This is it.

I am in love with you

PAMA

2011-06-10T17:10:00.004+08:00

Salam and hi

*dah lama tak menulis. Kekok rasanya.

Semalam baca satu post kat blog ni. Menarik. Post memohon maaf pada rakyat Malaysia katanya, sebab guna duit biasiswa untuk belanja bukan-bukan semasa belajar di luar negara.

Disebabkan aku rasa aku akan membebel panjang, maka aku resort pada cara paling berhemah sekali, iaitu melalui blog sendiri. Kang kalau komen panjang kat blog orang lain, ada yang menyampah pulak. Hahahhaha.

So neways, aku setuju jugak dengan apa yang brader tu cakap. Dan aku rasa bukan kat luar negara je macam tu, kat Malaysia ni pun sama.

Bukan nak ceramah, tapi rasanya boleh fikir sendiri kot. Duit biasiswa hangpa tu datang dari cukai yang mak bapak dok bayar kat kerajaan. Pada aku, sesiapa yang dapat biasiswa tu ULTRA BERUNTUNG, sebab bukan senang nak secure biasiswa zaman sekarang ni. Setakat 10A SPM, bersepah dah. Tapi tu la, tak grateful. Boros belanja yang bukan-bukan.

Aku tahu la hangpa yang dapat biasiswa mesti fikir "ni hasil usaha aku, titik peluh aku waktu SPm/matrik/etc" tapi kena ingat der, duit tu diberi bukan sebab hang study hard waktu sekolah dulu, duit tu guna nak belajar, cari ilmu, sara diri nak tampung kehidupan hangpa. Geddit?

Aku kadang-kadang rasa geram + sakit hati + rasa nak maki orang-orang yang dapat biasiswa tapi suka hati je belanja itu ini seolah-olah terlupa duit tu datang dari duit rakyat yang dok bayar cukai tu (termasuk la duit mak pak aku sekali). AKU YANG TAKDAK BIASISWA APA NI, HATTA PTPTN SEKALIPUN RASA TERKESAN + GERAM GILA BILA TENGOK HANGPA DOK BELANJA DUIT TU SERUPA AYAQ JA. PAHAM DAK?

Aku sangat value duit, sebab aku takdak biasiswa. PTPTN pun tak dapat. Toksah la pusing cerita kata aku tak dapat sebab mak pak aku dah kaya. Hello, kalau dah kaya, aku dah pi blajaq kat luar negara dah. Takda nak susah-susah apply UPU masuk UTM ni ha. Lagi dengan adik-adik aku semua dok blajaq, hangpa ingat RM400 sebulan cukup ka nak sara hidup? TAKDA MAKNA LA HAIH.

Baru-baru ni aku baru habis LI, baru aku tau macam mana sukarnya nak cari duit. Walaupun kerja aku 24/7 mengadap komputer ja, tu pun dah cukup untuk menambah tekanan di kepala otak ni + penat + naik power spek aku. Baru aku tau betapa tingginya nilai RM1000 sebulan. Sebab RM1000 tu susah weh nak dapat. Susah.

Jadi boleh paham dak kenapa aku panas hati bila tengok hangpa dok belanja duit tu beli handphone baru, jam baru, kasut baru, tengok wayang cam takdak esok dah, beli tu beli ni YANG LANGSUNG TAKDAK SANGKUT PAUT DENGAN PELAJARAN HANGPA? Aku bukan nak marah, hangpa nak belanja, belanja la. Tapi beringat la sikit.

Aku nak belanja banyak suka hati aku la, duit mak pak aku. Yang takdak kena mengena dengan perbendaharaan negara hatta negeri sekalipun. Tu pun aku jimat-jimat gak. Kalau ada duit lebih, aku belanja. Tapi hangpa ni la. Haihh.

So, the conclusion that I'd like to make here is, please, pada-pada la belanja tuh. Kalau memang perlu, takpelah. Tapi kalau rasa nak guna duit hangpa dapat tu belanja bukan-bukan, fikir banyak kali okay.

otak tak center dah ni

2011-04-24T22:27:00.003+08:00

Hari ini aku mimpi dua benda.

1) Tidur jam 9 pagi. Aku mimpi kena bantai waktu kem pemantapan. Aku tak sure kena bantai sebab apa, tapi teruk jugak. Budak-budak diam je. Member call, aku bangun tidur dan fikir, takkanlah teruk macam tu kot O.o

2) Power nap setengah jam petang tadi (ye setengah jam pun boleh mimpi). Aku mimpi pasal kerja pulak. Aku mimpi director company aku kerja tu tanya macam-macam waktu presentation. Aku mimpi waktu aku sangat gelabah waktu presentation tu. Tak sempat pula nak tengok slideshow aku cantik ke tak O.o

OMG what have I turned to O_O

I just have to

2011-04-02T02:49:00.003+08:00

I hope nobody's reading this, but if anyone ever does, please pretend like you never you read this, anyway. And please, DO NOT SPECULATE. Only I know whom am I talking about.

And to you, if you ever read this, I'd love it if you could respond in the comments. You have your right to be anonymous, but I'd rather you put something that only both of us know. I'd really appreciate that. And please change your language, style of writing, whatever, so that nobody knows.

And so lets begin..

It's hard when you fall in love with someone who was never meant to be yours. The hurt is so bad, and it feels even more when YOU are the only one feeling it, facing it. Alone.

My dearest you,

I understand your stand, I understand whatever you're feeling. I truly do, and I don't wish to put you in a difficult position whatsoever. It is MY feelings that I am trying to work out now, and I thank you for your effort of not giving me any hope whatsoever, because sadly, my feelings are not returned. That is for sure. I know my heart does not allow me to say this, but please, in the space of right or wrong, please maintain the position you're in now. And I know you're doing it well. I, on the other hand, am struggling badly to curb myself. No matter how much I want my feelings returned, I will, nevertheless, respect your decision and your nature of doing so.

I can't really recall how this feeling grows, actually. I didn't know you, back then. I didn't even like you. But yeah, you can't really be sure of what is going to happen. I have my ego, yes, and it confuses me that someone like you would destroy it. Underneath this face you see, the 'toughness', whatever, my heart is still as wobbly as ever.

Even a text message saying the word 'dear' would made me euphoric for about 2 seconds upon reading it, do you know that?

I love to look at your face, really. Everything. I love to see you smile, I love to see you happy, and it worries me when you're sad or angry. I, sometimes, have this jealousy that I have to overcome every time you talked about someone else. But then, who cares? If I were you, I won't even give a damn myself.

Whatever it is, you have me. This is the most important thing that you have to know.

"to know that you feel the same as I do, is a three-fold utopian dream" - Incubus

So that's it, I'm letting this one out. Sorry if this hurts anyone.

Mama

2010-11-02T15:26:00.000+08:00

This is a story of a mother. MY mama

I've always admired her courage and determination in life. Born in a family with a mediocre income each month back in the days, she struggled, and succeeded.

I still remember the first time I went to school. God knows how hard it was seeing her leave me in the middle of unknown kids inside the class. Back then I was so dumb and stupid (literally. I managed to score myself a place inside the 10 BOTTOM list of the class). My mother was the one that kept me going, the one who pushed me to try harder and yes, I thank her for all the nags.

I've always been close to her now. During my adolescent phase (I can't believe this, but don't you think I sound like a mother now? O.o) I didn't want her in my room. And despite that, now she's the one rushing us to Jusco to buy stuffs to decorate my room in UTM. I can still recall what she said when she saw my room for the first time

"Mama kesian la tengok bilik kaklong. Kat sini ada supermarket tak? Jom pegi beli barang untuk bilik"

O.o

And at the supermarket, I took few stuffs, but she took a LOT. She was really serious about making my room feels a little bit like home.

And few weeks after that she sent me a blanket and a comforter (with chicken cartoons stamped everywhere), the one I saw at a mall in Kedah.

That is the greatness of a mother. You give her temper, she gives you love.

p/s: I typed this with tears. I guess I miss my family so much

Be bold

2010-10-25T02:34:00.002+08:00

I wear a piece of jewellery at all times.
I wear contacts.
I wear glasses.
I have braces.
I change my hair colour often.
I straighten my hair often.
I have a piercing.
I have small feet.

Relationships:
I’m in a relationship now.
I'm single.
I’m crushin’.
I’ve missed an ex before.
An ex has physically abused me at least once.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve been in love more than two times.
I believe in love at first sight.
I believe lust is more important than love.

Friendships:
I have a best friend.
I have at least ten friends.
I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
I’ve beaten up a friend.
I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
I can trust at least five people with my life.

Experiences:
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been on a train
Someone close to me has died.
I’ve taken a taxi.
I’ve taken a city bus.
I’ve taken a school bus.
I’ve gone bungee jumping.
I’ve made a speech.
I’ve been in some sort of club.
I’ve won an award.
I’ve spent 24 hours on the computer straight.
I’ve been in a physical fight.

Music:
I listen to R&B.
I listen to country.
I listen to pop.
I listen to techno.
I listen to rock.
I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until I hate it.
I hate the radio.
I download music.
I buy CD’s.

Television:
I spend at least six hours a day watching television.
I watch soap operas daily.
I’m in love with Days Of Our Lives.
I've seen and liked the O.C.
I've seen and liked One Tree Hill.
I've seen and liked Popular.
I've seen and liked 24.
I’ve seen and liked CSI.
I've seen and liked Everwood.

Hair:
I've been brown.
I’ve had streaks.
I’ve cut my hair in the past year.
I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
I’ve been blonde.
I’ve had black.
I’ve been red.
I've been light brown.
I’ve been medium brown.
I’ve been blue/green.
I’ve had my hair thinned.
I use conditioner.
I’ve used silk therapy.
I’ve used hot oil treatments.
I’ve curled my hair.
I’ve straightened my hair
I’ve braided my hair.

School:
I’ve yelled at a teacher.
I’ve been suspended.
I’ve had an in-school suspension.
I’ve been sent to the principal’s office.
I’ve walked out of class.
I’ve skipped an entire day of school.
I’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.
I’ve failed Art.
I’ve failed P.E.
I’ve failed math.
I’ve failed science.
I’ve failed another class.
A teacher has called my parents.

Dear you, whoever you are

2010-10-19T20:51:00.003+08:00

a satirical reply to this:
http://theotherkhairul.blogspot.com/2010/10/surat-cinta-untuk-my-future-wifes.html

kepada my future husband

you can write such things, so do I.

first and foremost

Just as you are, I have absolutely no idea of where you are and who you are, but I really hope you're not one of those who put pictures of yourself shirtless, taken at high angles, showing away your oh-so-tough looking abs (which might even be photoshopped). We basically want the same things, I don't want my Rocher to be spoilt ;), although in your case, it is not exactly spoilt, it is just disgusting to look at :)

Kalau takde harta, I don't think you should bother about having wife(wives) pun. Anak nak ramai, habis tu nak bagi makan apa? Pasir? Don't talk about 'takpe kerja baik Allah permudahkan' bla3 all that crap because you know what, kalau check requirements kahwin awak ni:

harta takde, tapi anak 20-30 boleh bagi. WTH?

you expect me to sit at home, jaga anak 20-30 orang tu, dengan keadaan kita takde duit, plus tak galakkan me kerja some more. Wah, awak ingat duit tu nak turun dari langit ke anak tampung anak 20-30 orang tu?

You expect we girls to be tough for what? Senang ajak gaduh? Ni statement paling bangang, brader. Tell me how many couples went straight down to divorceland for having such useless husbands who expect their wives to always 'be tough' everytime gaduh. WTF you think we women are? Some punching bags? Meriah you said? Wait until you see surat fasakh coming your way, then you know meriah or not.

Yes, we know. Nak kahwin mesti pandai masak. Obviously. Hello brader, dalam rumah tangga, the REAL rules are:

you cook
you work
you wash the dishes
you give me what i want
you kemas rumah

and my primary job is to keep you satisfied in bed, and take care of our children. Ha yela memang tak percaya, sebab we've been fed by the notion perempuan kena tau masak, kalau tak, tak boleh kahwin. Of course we girls know that. But remember, if that is the reason you want to bukak cawangan lagi 1 (2, 3?), baik jangan kahwin.

but then, we girls know the only way to win your hearts is through your stomach, so no worries about that. Believe us when we said kitorang pun takde duit nak selalu makan luar.

We girls have been very lenient, eh? Tak mintak pape pun. hmm..

nasib baik your statement masak simple2, you jadi imam, you pujuk, you baca doa, all saved you. Tu pun tak tahu la if i should believe you or not, since you said "Sebab kalau dah lelaki, mesti bermulut manis. Boys, their mouth is bull****. So, don't trust them."

=) gurau-gurau je ye. Jangan ambil hati ^^

p/s: happy finding your spouse(s). Musim orang kahwin sekarang ni

Me and Fedora

2010-09-13T21:21:00.006+08:00

Salam and hi all

Selamat Hari Raya diucapkan kepada semua pembaca (masih tak terlambat kot, Raya kan sebulan hehe). Makan tu beragak, jangan main tibai je semua, nanti ada la yang berebut serbu jamban. Hehe

So anyway, enough blabbering, because today I want to share with you guys my experience knowing open source and using it =)

Aku kenal Linux masa tahun pertama di universiti, semasa belajar subjek Teknik Pengaturcaraan II di semester kedua. Masa tu, kami perlu belajar cara-cara nak compile dan run program di dalam environment Linux. Maka aku pun dengan malasnya belajar command terminal untuk tukar direktori, menamakan semula file dan command-command lain yang pada masa tu aku rasa sangat merumitkan. Aku tengok buku latihan tu pun dah nak pengsan rasa. Masa tu aku belum pernah jumpa lagi distro-distro Linux macam Ubuntu, Fedora dan lain-lain.

Bila waktu makmal, kami semua boot masuk ke dalam Fedora, dan aku bagaikan jatuh cinta pandang pertama pula (chewah :p). Aku suka desktop yang kemas dan cantik, yang ada kesan khas pelik-pelik dan smart. Starting there, I searched Google for Fedora and I came across other distros like Ubuntu and OpenSUSE. Dan dari situlah aku dapat tahu bahawa semua OS-OS ni tergolong dalam kategori open source. Aku pun download Linux Mint, dan aku terus install sebagai dual-boot sebagai OS open-source pertama yang aku guna. Waktu tu aku dengar nasihat kawan, sebab Linux Mint agak ringan dan semua software multimedia memang dah siap install sekali masa aku install dalam hard-drive (ke aku update? Aku pun dah tak ingat =..=). Kemudian makin lama aku explore sendiri distro lain, seperti Kubuntu dan Xubuntu.

Aku cuba belajar install sendiri, dan godek-godek sendiri sampai partition hard disk jadi kacau-bilau hasil penggodekkan aku tu. Hehe. Masa tu aku belum serius sangat guna open source, sebab masih terikat dengan software-software keluaran Microsoft yang sangat banyak digunakan dalam kelas semasa pembelajaran. Aku cuma guna Mint pun untuk seronok je masa tu.

Semasa program KMBG, aku pegang portfolio aktiviti, di mana kerja aku adalah menjaga slot-slot aktiviti, terutama sekali aktiviti ICT. Aku pun dengan berani matinya tak dengar cakap orang atasan, dan tetapkan supaya ada slot open source untuk program ICT di Batu Gajah tu (orang tu cakap open source terlalu berat untuk diterima oleh budak-budak dan penduduk kampung =_=")

Di saat-saat akhir mencari penceramah yang sudi bagi khidmat ceramah untuk slot tu, aku kenal Syazwan, yang pada masa tu aku refer sebagai penguin =p. Sebelum tu aku refer pada En Shukri, yang aku contact melalui website Penguin Masuk Kampung, untuk khidmat ceramah open source, dan melalui beliaulah aku kenal Syazwan yang kebetulan free pada masa tu dan sudi ikut bersama ke Batu Gajah untuk berkampung di sana bersama-sama AJK lain untuk bagi ceramah tentang open source. Semasa di sana aku tak sangka sambutan terlalu menggalakkan, dari guru-guru sampailah pelajar, semua dengar ceramah Syazwan dan berlegar tengok pameran open source yang dikendalikan oleh En Shukri dan aku sendiri bersama AJK-AJK lain. Ada pula yang cerita kat aku, ada seorang cikgu jemput seorang AJK untuk datang ke rumahnya dan install Ubuntu di PC rumahnya. Jadi aku rasa sangat seronok sebab program tu dah bagi impak besar pada penduduk di situ.

Sekembalinya ke UTM, aku terus aktif guna OS open source. Aku dah tak guna untuk seronok-seronok je, aku explore inside out, aku cuba buka itu dan ini secara serius, dan cuba pelbagai distro lain seperti Backtrack, Xubuntu, OpenSUSE dan FreeBSD (Slackware belum cuba lagi hehehehehe). Selepas tu makin lama makin jelas sebab-sebab kenapa aku kena libatkan guna open source ni secara serius. Masa pergi short course Ethical Hacking di UiTM (iHack 2010), tutor tu guna Backtrack, dan semasa kelas OS, aku kena buat program untuk demo fungsi fork() dalam environment Linux. So I continue using Fedora on my laptop, and after this I'll install perhaps Ubuntu on my PC.

Sekarang aku masih berkenalan dengan otai-otai open source Malaysia melalui Facebook dan blog. Semua aktiviti mereka aku follow (walaupun tak secara langsung, sebab aku sibuk di UTM =() dan sekarang aku jaga linuxvarsiti di UTM yang akan diadakan pada bulan Oktober nanti. Sekarang juga aku masih belajar cara-cara update repo, install tu install ni, remove tu remove ni, dan belajar cara-cara lebih advanced menggunakan terminal.

Aku suka guna distro OS sebab ianya percuma (obviously. Everybody loves free stuff, don't they?) dan update serta tutorial sangat mudah dicari. Lagi satu yang sangat menarik pada aku adalah source codenya boleh didapati secara mudah, dan aku boleh belajar macam mana distro tu berfungsi (walaupun pada hakikatnya aku bukan faham sangat pun tengok source code panjang berjela pening =_=). Walaupun pada mulanya sukar sikit aku nak guna distro ni sebab semua benda macam kena start from scratch, tapi aku lagi suka macam tu sebab melalui proses tu aku belajar tentang penggunaan komputer (other than blindly installing and using software than are all complete, out-of-the-box kinda stuff, ya know?). Dan yang paling best sekali sebab distro Linux boleh dicustomize dan ada macam2 kesan khas yang aku rasa lebih menarik berbanding di Windows. Aku juga belajar guna distro OS untuk kegunaan semasa LI nanti, di mana syarikat tempat aku akan berpraktikal menggunakan software OS untuk pembangunan sistem yang diminta oleh pelanggan.

Cuma apa yang buat aku kadang-kadang sedikit give-up untuk melibatkan diri secara serius di dalam dunia OS ini adalah kerana tiada geng =_=. Yalah, semua otai lelaki, kawan-kawan kurang berminat dengan OS, dan sukar mahu cari kawan perempuan yang ada minat yang sama. Tapi aku rasa tu bukan penghalang, janji aku yang nak belajar, tak mengapalah tiada geng pun ^^

SO what say you?

p/s: rasa tertarik buat posting mengenai OS sebab tadi kalut buat screencaps untuk minta bantuan Melayubuntu untuk selesaikan masalah berkenaan distro Fedora =_=. Gila dah aku ni

breastfeeding

2010-09-13T21:00:00.000+08:00

Hello world

Ada satu hari ni, aku keluar ke Jusco untuk membeli barang-barang dapur (bajet ada pulak dapur kat bilik TT)

Dan rakan yang menemani ingin memotong rambut. Aku pun ikut sama temankan ke salun berdekatan.

Sementara menanti si rakan habis dioperate rambutnya, aku mendengar lagu-lagu di dalam iPod, sambil melihat bagaimana skillfulnya amoi tu menggunting rambut rakan tu. Around 15 minutes later, a couple came in, with their baby. It was not a big deal, at first.

I went on and on scrolling the playlist for A Fine Frenzy's, and when I tilted my head up, I saw the most embarrassing view ever.

This woman was breastfeeding her baby in the saloon, and I could see her breast.

I have to admit, I did experience minor culture shocks in Taiwan and Singapore, but this one tops it all, and I got it RIGHT HERE IN MALAYSIA.

I asked my friend, "memang normal eh orang menyusu baby kat tempat awam camtu?" and she said "normal lah.. kalau baby tu nak menyusu". I was in awe O.o

And after a status update on Facebook about my encounter with this new culture, I immediately realised that I (and another guy actually) were the ones who were left out in the fields of mothering and nurturing a newborn =_=

Kau jual burger je. Apa barang

2010-08-30T08:50:00.000+08:00

I'm intrigued by this video a friend of mine tagged me on. It's pretty interesting to know how a girl can really say mean things and be so outspoken about what she feels of a penjual burger

Idiot. I wish I can slap her on the face and tell her to rot in hell.

Part of what she says is true. Everything is about money now. You can't survive with mediocre income every month, what more if you have babies coming around. It's true, you'd need money to get married, you need to have stable income and at least have savings to cover for anything.

But that is not an excuse not to love. That is not a good reason for someone to leave.

You can leave someone for something, but remember, karma's got its way too. People CAN leave you for something else, just like you did.

Aku berdoa agar perempuan ini tabah sekiranya dimadukan. Yelah, lelaki tu baik, handsome, kaya. Mesti ramai perempuan nak kat dia. Dan dia baik, jadi orang baiklah calon paling sesuai untuk mempunyai isteri lebih dari satu ^^

cekodok semut

2010-08-26T00:33:00.003+08:00

Pada 25 Ogos 1989, seorang baby yang sangat gemuk dan comel baru sahaja dilahirkan di Hospital Fatimah, Ipoh.

21 years later, baby tersebut dibaling telur, tepung dan belon air untuk dijadikan cekodok.

Mula-mula aku kecil hati sebab mama terlupa hari lahir aku. Pagi-pagi mama hantar sms, cakap

"gud day, luv" je.

Aku pun reply kat mama

"mama ada lupe something ke?huu"

Few minutes later, she called and wished me a happy birthday :)

So I went with my day as usual, no celebrations (I'm not used to celebrating, anyway) and with all the assignments, tasks, a surprise party was the last thing on my mind.

And then came the night. Neni sent us the MTs an SMS saying there's a meeting going to be held and it's urgent. I can't recall how reluctantly I asked Yaya can we not go, and stuff like that. She insisted, saying

"dah la MT berape kerat je! hang plak xmo dtg!"

So okay, I agreed. I slept after breaking fast, and I woke up around 10.25pm, having 5 minutes to get ready and go down to the lab.

It was an odd meeting really. Biskot did not say anything much IMPORTANT/URGENT, so I was a bit angry. To top it off, he practically scolded me for some unfinished tasks (and I was actually at the wrong side, so I kept quiet, terima jelah =_=).

Then after the meeting, the girls wanted to go to Cengal to buy Neslo. I followed them, and on our way I thought I saw Sarah (I was a bit mad at this girl really lol), and I asked Yaya

"eh tu bukan Sarah ke?"

and Yaya said

"eh bukan la.. mane ade" (campur muka tak boleh blah)

Aku dah blur dah ni. Dah la gelap, takut pulak. I really thought I saw something running. And then Sarah came to us, saying she just finished some meeting.

(pelik jugak meeting dalam gelap, tapi layan je la)

AND THEN CAME THE MOMENT

Tiba-tiba aku rasa ada benda pecah belakang aku. Macam telur je. Bila pusing belakang tengok segerombolan manusia lengkap bersenjata serbu aku. Aku pun apa lagi, angkat kaki cabut la. Semua bawak telur, tepung, belon isi air. Waduh waduh

Agak-agak 5 minit aku lari, aku berhenti. Tak tahu nak lari mana dah, plus aku fikir kalau aku lari kat tempat ramai orang, lagi malu. Baik habiskan dalam gelap tu terus. So aku pun angkat white flag, terus mencangkung atas rumput tu, dan biar diri aku diperkotak-katikkan oleh manusia-manusia itu.

KAU KEJAM! KAU KEJAM!!!

Biskot main renjis-renjis tepung, ingat orang kahwin ke apa. Tu tak campur telur lagi. Belon lagi. Kalau ada minyak panas, boleh goreng aku terus jadi cekodok.

The cake was nice =)

THANKS TO ALL WHO PUT THEIR EFFORTS IN THIS. I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU GUYS HAVE DONE, DESPITE HAVING A HECTIC SCHEDULE AND EVERYTHING. THANK YOU SO MUCH

with love,

Nor Arlina Amirah
ant

p/s: I'm also sorry for being somewhat serious and moody lately. Period's coming TT

Wishlist oh wishlist

2010-08-06T22:37:00.005+08:00

My wishlist for this year

HTC Wildfire. I think Mama will help me to get this. *Hoping

Asics Fortitude. Size 7. Preferably blue on white, black on white or orange on white

Dooodolls Drooolie 12". Okay, I don't really need this (I KNOW ALREADY) but for those of you who have spares to spend, why not? Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Acer Timeline. Okay I'm not a fan of Acer, but this one seems like a good deal. Get me an i5. Hehe

Ahh, the long-awaited Project Natal, named Kinect. My brother would dig this as well.

Okay this one if pretty expensive. Logitech Wireless Gaming Headset G930. Get me something cheaper instead, but still in the gaming domain. Can you? Hehehe

And, a wallet. Surprise me.

P/S: bajet ada la orang nak belikan? Huhu

When you are yourself, and not what people thought you are

2010-08-02T01:03:00.004+08:00

Hidup ni tak semuanya indah. Aku rasa aku dah masak sangat dengan penyataan sebegini.

Kadang-kadang apa yang kita nak tak semua kita dapat. Kadang-kadang kita ada duit, tapi tak dapat apa yang yang kita nak, walaupun pada hakikatnya duit bukan masalah.

Same goes in a relationship. Love can't always save things. Love can't always prove to you everything. Kadang-kadang cinta tu ada, tapi mungkin atas sebab-sebab lain, cinta tu akan jadi perkara kedua.

So anyway, I'm a big opposition of the statement 'you are shaped by everything around you' (translated: you are what you are because of your surroundings)

I'm especially *sick* of people saying one can be this and that because of his surroundings. For me, you determine your life, YOU are the one who controls your life, and most importantly, YOU choose who you want to be, and how you want yourself to be.

2001-2006

2010-06-13T01:40:00.004+08:00

Salam and hi.

Just now I got pretty nothing to do, so I got online and browsed few websites, to cure the boredom really. This is going to be very long, so please forgive me. I like to wind away sometimes. Hehe.

(It's pretty weird, I have many things that need to be settled, my CV, KMBG, PHP HTML thing. Yet I still complain of having NOTHING to do)

Just now I went to my school's blog and website. And yes, I miss my old days at school, especially high school.

Dulu waktu sekolah rendah di Taiping, Mama ambil keputusan untuk pindah ke Bagan Serai. Mudah untuk jenguk arwah Atuk, katanya, although we all very much know it was not because of that reason. So anyway, we moved to Bagan Serai after I finished my UPSR. Masa tu aku rasa impian nak masuk Convent High School dah berkecai hancur lebur habis. Aku anggap Bagan Serai tu kampung je, tak pernah terfikir nak tinggal di situ dan sekolah di situ.

Masa nak daftar sekolah tu, sumpah aku rasa kosong gila. Dah la tak kenal sesiapa, risau tu jangan cakaplah. Nasib baik aku kenal dengan anak makcik yang tolong jaga adik aku tu, nama Ida. Waktu tu aku geng dengan dia la. Pergi sekolah sama-sama jalan kaki. Waktu orientasi tu, aku tengok semua ada geng, ada kawan-kawan. Tinggallah aku melopong tak tahu nak buat apa.

Tapi lama-lama aku biasakan diri, dan aku boleh sesuaikan diri dengan keadaan kat situ. Mula-mula je macam kucing hilang anak. Lama-lama okaylah :)

Dari tingkatan 1 sampai 3, aku rasa biasa je hidup (BIASALAH SANGAT). Mungkin sebab aku banyak terlepas perkara-perkara menarik waktu tu. Macam-macam jadi, benda baik, benda tak baik, nangis-nangis gaduh, nangis-nangis baik semula. Memang budak-budak betul waktu tu. Sekarang ni bila ingat balik, gosh, terasa sangatlah kurang matang. Benda kecil pun nak gaduh, memang buat aku gelak sendiri.

Aku rasa waktu sekolah yang paling signifikan sekali adalah semasa tingkatan 4 dan 5. Pada aku waktu ni waktu kritikal, sebab nak SPM kan. Waktu tu aku tak rasa kritikal apa pun, masih boleh seronok masuk debate, kawad kaki (sumpah aku rindu kawad tengah panas =( ) dan macam-macam lagi aktiviti luar kelas. Buku aku lempar pergi mana entah. Masuk kelas macam ada awan dalam otak, satu apa pun aku tak faham. Tapi waktu tu aku seronok, sebab macam-macam kemahiran aku dapat. Tapi aku agak menyesal sebab kurang fokus dalam kelas. Setakat gagal subjek Add. Math tu, benda biasa dah. Sekarang aku rasa menyesal sebab benda Add. Math tu senang (serius SENANG). Kalau aku belajar okay sikit, tentu takkan dapat C5 yang mencacatkan sijil SPM aku tu. Hehe

I owe so many people during my high school years. Cikgu-cikgu, kawan-kawan. Aku ingat lagi, kalau ada masalah, kalau emosi ni rasa tak tertanggung badan, aku serbu bilik kaunseling, aku cakap-cakap ke, aku menangis ke, kat kaunselor. Rahsia aku memang banyak la cikgu tu tahu. Bila ingat balik macam malu je menangis, padahal muka sikit punya samseng. Hehe. Waktu sekolah dulu, selalu tak siap kerja, kecuali kalau subjek yang cikgu garang-garang ajar, baru aku buat. Tu pun kadang-kadang tiru kawan. Ada juga cikgu-cikgu yang sangat ambil berat pasal aku sebab selalu tinggal kelas, tapi aku je tak fikir panjang waktu tu, dah seronok kan, apa nak fikir lagi. O.o

Waktu sekolah aku pegang jawatan macam-macam, jadi cikgu-cikgu macam kenal jugalah. Aku sayang gila dengan pasukan Kadet Bomba sekolah aku. Walaupun pasukan kami kecil je waktu tu, tapi semangat masing-masing sangat besar. Walaupun waktu tu kami SEMUA perempuan, kami tak pernah rasa macam tiada semangat nak buat apa-apa. Aku rindu gila masa latihan kawad kaki, kawad hos apa semua. Pergi pertandingan, menang, kalah, semua dah rasa. Pengalaman jadi Ketua Platun memang aku tak boleh lupa. Seronok jerit-jerit bagi arahan. Kena jerkah kena marah pun seronok juga kadang-kadang :p. Seronok dapat pimpin budak-budak bawah aku. Tapi paling seronok sebab melalui Kadet Bomba la aku kenal makna disiplin, aku belajar hidup sederhana, aku belajar bergaul dengan orang.

Bila kau tengok website sekolah, blog sekolah, banyak yang dah berubah. Yang pastinya semua perubahan yang baik-baik. Banyak aktiviti, tengok pelajar pun macam okay. Aku teringin nak jumpa balik budak-budak kawad, debaters, classmates, cikgu-cikgu yang pernah ajar aku. Aku nak cakap terima kasih sebab pernah datang dalam hidup aku. Banyak benda aku belajar masa kat sekolah. Aku mesti jumpa mereka sebelum LI. Mesti! Tolonglah sesiapa bawa aku pergi sekolah! Huhu

P/S: Paling tak boleh blah sekali waktu nak kena suntikan apa entah waktu tingkatan 3. Aku menangis teruk kot. Adeh malu gila =_="

Pagi tadi aku mimpi pergi sekolah =(

Award

2010-06-07T21:25:00.008+08:00

I'm not cute, but then, thanks Ms Hajar Balkhis Ramli for this.

ROLLERCOASTER AND CHILDREN AT THE PLAYGROUND

make 15 word from the sentences

above (no names human/city/road/animal)

example : roll,rain

reminder!!

don't repeat the word,,make sure every word you make have a meaning!

roller, coaster, child, play, ground, rent, lay, pound, hide, lid, hat, lure, round, den, pat

put your transport (picture) when you go to work, school or college

jalan kaki. Paling best.

put your favourite shoes/sandles (picture)

Asics GEL-DS Rider 8 and Rider Omni

wahhhh.. I love these O_O

where do you get this banner tagged? (sender picture)

Ms Hajar Balkhis Ramli

Thanks. Okay bloggers, you can all have this award.

RIP Putih aka Boboy

2010-06-05T16:41:00.003+08:00

I got this lovely cat when I was around 18, Mama brought him back home from her office after seeing him straying around the guard house. Mama took him, brought him into the car, and took him home. He didn't even try to run away or escape, perhaps he knew we loved cats, and he knew he was in safe hands. We decided we want to call him Putih.

He was a very nice cat, very cute, very humble, and looked so friendly and kind. I fall in love with him since then. It wasn't hard to take care of him, unlike my other cats. I could easily bathe him, and he'd never scratch or hurt anyone.

Then Papa took him away from us. My mother and I cried.

He took care of Putih, now Boboy at his house. I bet he was lonely without any other cats to play with. He became very detached from us since. Sombong, mentang2 la dah duduk KL, dah tukar nama. I was quite frustrated, really. But I love him, nevertheless.

Then he died. After undergoing operation to remove kidney stones. Earlier before that he passed out.

I miss him already. Can I cry?

KakLong misses you so much Putih. You are of my favourite colour, and I very much adore you for that. I'm going to miss you badly :((

Memories with my debate team

2010-05-16T20:52:00.006+08:00

Salam and hi

Back then, at school, I was involved actively in the debate team. I spent most of the time with the debaters looking for points for our debate topics and such, and sometimes hang out together just to release the tension of having only one week to prepare for the topics.

Ah, yes. Floodgates of memories flung open. Back then, setakat ponteng kelas tu jadi perkara biasa. Seminggu je tempoh masa untuk cari bahan mengenai tajuk perbahasan, siapkan teks, dan berlatih. I still remember one of the most hellish topics we ever got, Money is the Main Motivating Factor in Human Achievements (I think this is it, I can't quite remember the exact phrase) and we were the Government team, going against SMJK Kerian. Ah, that boy. That super talkative boy. How I hate him back then. Felt like strangling his neck to stop him from talking.

There were few places we used to hang out together other than school, to discuss about the texts and everything. KFC and Marrybrown being few of them (Bagan Serai is just a small town. People from the city would probably choke upon lacking McDonalds and Pizza Hut here), but there was this one place I loved to go and lepak with the debate gang.

The toast stall.

Yeap, a stall selling toasts. They had sardine, kaya, eggs and even sausages.

Those were just the food I craved for back then. Nothing fancy, just few slices of bread with sausages, topped with mayo and chili sauce, and slices of cucumber. And believe me when I say you only need one of those for lunch. Seriously. Kenyang gila kot makan. Dahlah sedap, murah, senang pulak nak dapat. Gosh

So every once in a while I, along with other friends went there after our tuition classes to eat and catch up with each other. Once I bought some take away toasts and ate them with my friends at the paddy field, while watching the sun sets. It was heaven on earth. I need those again. Those delicious mouth watering toasts. Ada tak jual kat mana-mana? Gerai yang kat Bagan Serai tu dah tutup. :(

Memories, how nice.

P/S: I've been losing my debate skills. And I miss the debaters. Ivan Chea, Saberina, DJ, the teachers. Gosh

Selamat Hari Guru

2010-05-16T01:16:00.003+08:00

Salam and hi

Selamat Hari Guru saya ucapkan kepada semua guru di Malaysia, terutamanya yang mengajar di Tadika St Theresa (K. Terengganu), SK Sultan Sulaiman 2 (Terengganu), SK Klian Pauh (Taiping), SMK Bagan Serai (Bagan Serai), Kolej Matrikulasi Perak, dan Universiti Teknologi Malaysia. Tanpa anda semua, mungkin saya tidak akan menjadi manusia seperti hari ini :)

Kepada cikgu yang pernah cubit dan hantuk kepala saya di papan hitam semasa darjah 3, saya akan ingat cikgu sampai bila-bila. Terima kasih cikgu, sekurang-kurangnya sekarang saya suka dengan subjek Matematik dan ingat 6x6=36.

Terima kasih juga kepada guru-guru yang failkan saya, it makes me remember that with zero effort, you get a big fat ZERO on your exam paper. Kepada Cikgu Jailani yang pernah mengajar saya Matematik Tambahan, saya tahu saya boleh dapat A masa SPM, tapi saya malas + tak suka Matematik. Bila dah masuk universiti, menyesal tak sudah sebab benda masa sekolah tu sebenarnya senang, dan sangat RUGI tak buat betul-betul semasa SPM. Padan muka sendiri kan. Terima kasih juga kepada guru-guru kerana banyak ajar saya sikap sabar, dan banyak membantu semasa kelas. Saya yang salah sebab tak pernah tumpukan perhatian, main-main dan tak pernah serius.

Kepada pensyarah semasa matrikulasi, saya memang troublemaker, suka skip kelas, tutorial tak pernah siap, dan tak pernah score untuk quiz atau exam. Saya pun kurang pasti kalau pensyarah semasa matrikulasi kenal saya atau pun tak (yelah, asyik ponteng je kan). Saya pun tak tahu kenapa jadi macam tu, tapi sejak masuk universiti rasanya saya rajin sikit kot. Saya rasa matrikulasi bukan untuk saya, dan saya bukan diri saya yang sebenar semasa matrikulasi, tapi sekarang I'm back to myself, and I'm glad I'm surviving. Dah serik mungkin.

Kepada pensyarah UTM, saya memang kadang-kadang nampak macam blur dalam kelas, tapi sebenarnya saya sedang berfikir. Maaf juga jika kadang-kala saya ponteng. Sometimes I'm too tired, or simply too lazy, but I know those are not even good excuses.

THANKS AGAIN.

TO ALL TEACHERS, HAPPY TEACHERS DAY =)

Journey to Taiwan: Episode 1

2010-05-11T14:43:00.000+08:00

Salam and hi

I know it's quite late for this, but I still want to tell you my stories of being in Taiwan for a small research on the Internet facilities (and attending ISGC!). I'll post this in episodes, so do check out every once in a while okay.

Our first day was quite as 'colourful', one might say. I had my Engineering Statistics test that night (yes, the night before our departure to LCCT), and after the test, Dr Lan fetched me (after few glitches on my exact coordinate in UTM. Mind you, some roads in UTM are so pelik and pusing2) and we went back to our college to board the bus and head away to LCCT.

"Feeling excited is an understatement. I felt a sense of responsibility, like this is a very important thing to me, something which I have to put a 100% concentration on, because this could change my life for good. Yeah I was happy, but then, a new experience was about to unfold which I had to vividly carve in my mind so that I could share this with people (who wants to know, who are interested to know)"

ouh, yes. My mind was already in Taiwan as I was scrunching my head for the test. How can I concentrate anyway?

Upon arriving in LCCT, it was still early. Something like 4 or 5 am I guess? So we walked around to find a spot to put our stuff and rest ourselves before the flight.

Yes, we literally put our bags on the floor and pretended like it's a nice warm carpet . JUST WITHOUT 4 WALLS. Hehe

I myself took a bath and had something to eat before walking around snapping photos here and there. The boys had their own agenda though, lepaking and basically ogling at the oh-so-hot flight attendants (lol, is it NOT true? hehe). At about 9 am (I forget the exact time), we checked in and went to the International Departure hall while a member of the delegation tried to contact the CEO of AAX to inform him of our flight.

AAX is our main sponsor, if any of you were asking :)

Aaa, few hours to go before we flew to Taiwan. I was excited, but not too excited though. Quite a lot of things circled in my mind while waiting to board the plane. I owe AAX one though; because of this trip, I got many inputs on my final year project (another 2 years to go, but still, early preparation is always the best, eh?)

Before our departure. Sorry for the mediocre quality. I had to edit this because the raw picture is VERY dark. And I wasn't the one snapping this.

With Mr Azran, CEO of AirAsiaX. Ouh yeah, I was not in the pic, because I was the one snapping this. Hehe

Okay, time to read up on grids. I have something like 5 months before my practical. I'll post the second episode of our journey probably later. See you guys around! :)

Beautiful blogger..? O.o

2010-05-09T16:55:00.008+08:00

Salam and hi wow, it's been a long time since I last received any blog-related award. This time I got 2 awards from a junior, Nabila Ain. Check out her blog for the original post okay!

*ouh btw, beautiful blogger? Wow O.o

1- Thank and link the person who gave you the award.
2- Pass this award to 15 bloggers you've recently discovered and think are fantastic.
3- Contact said Blogs and let them know they've won the award.
4- State 7 things about yourself.

1) done. Thanks for the award Nab! :)

2) Okay, 15 bloggers. Here goes 5 which I like to read during my spare time =_="

Warkah Tinta Hati
s.e.a.t.e.a.n.a.d.y.a
Ritz's Dorm
~This Is My Wardrobe~
Little PeaCh's Life

3) done

4) 7 things:

I tell people not to have late night meals, but I end up being the one who proposed the idea of eating rice and stir fry chicken at 12 am.

I sometimes consider joining the LOGIN FACEBOOK DAPAT 100 stuff (hey I don't have any scholarship to live on okay!).

I love whatever I'm learning now.

I love you, you know who you are.

I sometimes wonder why we are bound by rules. But then, that is one of the most stupid things to wonder of. What would the world be without rules?

I hate guys who think they're so hot, when they're so not.

I desperately need a bar of Snickers now.

asking and wanting

2010-05-03T00:56:00.003+08:00

This is not an attempt to turn my blog into some mushy lovey dovey stuff, but it is just an honest expression of my feelings, something I haven't exercised for quite some time.

I love you. Yes, you. The feeling is so deep that it cuts to every inch of the veins inside this body of mine. People might ask, and I may deny, but believe me, I have love for you so much that I'm willing to die for you. Screw those people who think love is everywhere, love is for play, love is not to be taken so seriously. I hate you people for that, because you give love a bad name.

Do you know there are so many people out there that are so deeply, genuinely in love, and end up not being with each other for some obvious, tiny petty reasons that you won't even understand?

I don't care about what people might say about you (or me). I just care about you. It's the best thing for me now, since others won't understand anyway.

I just want to be with you. Is that too much to ask for? :(

I don't have any other wish. I just want to be with you. Period.

ni la KL!

2010-05-02T21:04:00.003+08:00

Salam and hi

I've been very busy, but I still can't conceive of the reasons WHY I'm busy. I mean, the exams are over, and yes, I got some work (a lot of work actually) to do, but here I am blogging and playing Pet Society. What's up with that?

After approximately one-week holiday with my family, I'm back here in UTM. Talk about the sole cricket sounds and the occasional ramblings of other fellow 'survivors' (blame The Colony lol)

After one week of TV and the kittens, I'm now in the middle of nowhere with nothing to eat and pretending like I'm Bear Grylls scavenging for food.

Okay no, I am not. I'm just talking nonsense.

I have a very interesting story to share of how someone can sometimes be ridiculously blur because of lack of sleep.

My flight from Kedah to KL was in the evening, and my next flight to JB was early in the morning the next day. So to avoid myself from temporarily being a stray cat among tourists at LCCT, I crashed at my best friend's house to relax and refresh myself before the flight. So for about 12 hours, we did nothing but nonsense chit-chat, watched a movie and had few mengumpat sessions. And both of us ended up with one-hour sleep.

So we woke very early in the morning, feeling VERY VERY sleepy, and I snoozed the alarm twice before admitting defeat. Curse you Air Asia for scheduling such early flights.

This friend of mine dropped me off at LCCT and I frantically went to the security checks and stuff before proceeding to the counter.

I didn't see any sign saying Johor Bahru or stuff like that at the counter I was supposed to go to to check in, so I went to the counter beside it. Do you know what I did?

I asked a very silly question. A.VERY.STUPID.QUESTION.

Me: err KL kat sini eh?
Staff: (with a very confused face) KL..?
Me: ye KL. check in kat sini eh?
Staff: err, SINI LA KL
Me: (now I was the one with that confused face) huh?
Staff: nak ke Alor Setar ke? (she was attending the counter to Alor Setar)
Me: EH BUKAN! JB! JOHOR!

OMG. I felt like killing myself. I just made a very stupid joke, at 6.30am in the morning. What was I thinking?

Must be that one-hour sleep. Must be.

P/S: I'm all alone, and I need you now =((

2010-04-26T13:05:00.001+08:00

THANKS FOR WRECKING US UP.
THANKS A LOT
I NEVER HATE YOU, BUT I LOSE ALL THE RESPECT I HAD FOR YOU

Kepada auntie

2010-04-10T17:31:00.005+08:00

Kepada auntie

Saya tahu auntie kuat. Kalau tak dah tersungkur tengah jalan, tak mampu nak bawa diri sendiri kan? Anak-anak juga masih ada, dan saya tahu merekalah nyawa auntie sekarang ni. Mereka masih kecil, tapi mereka akan membesar menjadi orang yang sangat independent dan mereka takkan menyusahkan ibu mereka.

insyaAllah

Dan kepada lelaki2 yang rasa sangat macho buat perempuan merana dan menderita, jangan ingat boleh selamat okay. Zaman sekarang ni semua benda cash je, tak payah tunggu akhirat. One way or another, you're guaranteed to get back what you give. Don't ever test this inference, it proves true every time.

25 random things

2010-04-08T05:09:00.002+08:00

1) I may look like some tough, ass-kicking girl, but I am actually not.

2) and the reason is because I can't stand gore things, up to a point where I can't sleep for quite some time, or worst, I'd puke. From the image of a severely disfigured hand, to those videos of people giving birth and such. So, please. You know what you DON'T have to do.

3) I love my family. So much.

4) but I'm too proud to show it, or rather, I don't feel like I need to show it.

5) I got issues with the way I handle my anger. Now trying to fix them up through TKD.

6) I love animals. Cats, dogs, all cute fluffy animals. I love snails too.

7) I hate people who take things for granted. Probably because I, once, had that trait, and I screwed up my life big time.

8) I sometimes look at things VERY differently from others.

9) I look too old for my age.

10) and I think life experiences contribute to point #9.

11) I love playing guys' games. Starcraft, Command and Conquer Series, CS, and such.

12) I *secretly* love skirts. Short skirts.

13) I have few regrets in my life and I know there's nothing I can do about them except to just move on and try not to get myself into more things that I'll regret later.

14) I always thought I'd be a workaholic, later in my life.

15) my mother is the most amazing woman in the world.

16) I'm a realistic person. But I sometimes loosen up a bit and have some fun, my way.

17) I can't do splits anymore. Blame my right quads.

18) I'm a caffeine addict.

19) I think too much. All the time. Even of unnecessary things.

20) YOU are the person whom I'd die for, besides my family.

21) I love to explore, and I'm sometimes too curious over everything.

22) I love sports. I like to play, I love to run around, I love to jump and have fun. I love to kick and punch.

23) If I started earlier, I would've trained myself full-time to become an MMA fighter.

24) I'm not used to hurting people and such, but I can be a bitch sometimes.

25) I want to pursue law for my second degree while working or doing masters.

random enough?

p/s: I miss you dear.

Report writing 101 (I think it should be 50, not 101)

2010-04-05T23:18:00.003+08:00

It's report writing time!
*and what the hell am I doing here anyway?

Okay. The truth is, I can't get my hands off the keyboard and mouse. So rather than playing 20 minutes of C&CKW (and losing badly to medium AIs ), I think I'd post something to help me with my exam which starts.. well, day after tomorrow.

So first up, report writing. The format, that is. Based on the references, these are the stuff that will be tested.

INTRODUCTION
the parts are → background, objectives, scope and significance of study

METHODOLOGY
includes → sampling, instruments and research procedure

FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION
which are the reviews on the graph, your interpretations etc

CONCLUSION
as a whole, for the graphs and the whole report

RECOMMENDATIONS
recommendations for the study and the future, such as what can be done to improve the research, and another regarding the topic (the research that is).

*gosh, if Tweetdeck came out as the topic for the exam, I'd be scoring A+++++++. Seriously. Why won't they consider putting some fun in the exams?

So anyway.

the first tips that I saw scribbled here is, number the parts. Like:

1.0 Introduction
1.1 Background of the Study

etc etc

and no direct lifting off the excerpts. For the background of the study, there are many styles, but the ones pointed out in the book are those utilizing statistics and history of that certain issues. Then it's just a matter of narrowing down the topic and finding the issues that must be investigated.

Objectives are to be written in point form. Example:

2.0 Objectives of this research are:

2.1 to investigate bla3
2.2 to find out bla3

ouh, I found this very interesting stuff inside the book. The decimal numbering system. I thought it'd be nice to share with you guys.

The main topic should be written like, 1.0. Then for the topics under the main topic, the numbering should be 1.1, 1.2 etc. Then the same procedure (adding the decimal for each inclining levels → 1.0, 1.1, 1.1.1, ...)

*iklan kejap, I just asked my dad for a new keyboard. Readers, please pray that he'll buy it for me. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee =))

If I'm FREE enough to write my own version of report, I'll post it here.

p/s: don't blame me if the format is wrong or anything. It's your right to follow, and your right to fail or succeed. This is just what I found on the references. It'd be better if you point out the wrong details, and even better if you can correct it :)

...

2010-04-02T13:05:00.001+08:00

RINDU

okay, 'nuff said. Get back to work

It's study week, after all

2010-03-31T17:44:00.003+08:00

It happens again.

My ?th pair of earphones are snapped into two pieces .

And now I need a new one. Suggestions, please .

I've had Apple (yes, Apple earphones), Sony, Phillips and JVC. All useless. Thinking about getting a pair of Bose or Altec Lansing, but still checking out other brands. CK suggested that I try AKG, and I've already checked out the website. Pretty neat, and the price is not so expensive either. Is there anyone who have tried AKG out there? Your guidance is much appreciated .

Any brand will do as long as it sticks to this requirements:

-no silicon-earplug kind of earphones. The one you stick inside the ears? Absolute no-no .
-not that huge DJ-like headphones either. I need a pair of EARphones.
-must withstand any outdoor activities, because I use to take my iPod with me during jogging or weight training. So a pair of super heavy duty earphones are much needed
.
-Price range: Rm50-RM200

Okay, today's story is about eating. Diet, to be more precise. I post this because lately I eat a lot. So I need some sort of motivation for me to keep fit again. AND AS A DISCLAIMER, I AM NOT TRYING TO BE THIN, I'M TRYING TO CUT OFF EXCESS WEIGHT TO MAINTAIN IN MY WEIGHT CATEGORY AND TO KEEP FIT. THERE'S NO POINT OF HAVING A NICE BODY WITHOUT HAVING THE ENERGY TO CARRY IT ANYWAY

I think I'm just stressed out . It's study week, after all .

To lose weight, I usually don't cut the amount of food that I eat. I spread it across one whole day. Yeap, I'm not a fan of the 3-meals-per-day plan. I'd do at least 5 or 6 small meals. For those of you who thought applying that plan here is cumbersome, well it is actually very easy. Beli nasi dan lauk macam biasa, tapi asingkan. Makan bila lapar, tapi jangan habiskan. Simpan la sampai petang (kalau beli waktu tengahari la).

And one of my classmates habit of eating more lauk than nasi is pretty cool too . Instead of having half of the portion for rice and the rest for lauk, she changed the whole thing to 1/4 rice, 1/2 veggies and 1/4 fish/chicken/etc. This is an alternative if you can't spread your meals.

And exercise. I still remember how I used to lose about 1kg after each TKD training session. And you guys might wonder what exactly we did to shed that 1kg .

For each circuit training:
Shuttle run (10x)
Sit-up (26x)
Push-up (20x)
Burpee (20x appr)
Skipping (at least 50)

and the cycle is repeated three times. Great .

No wonder I lost so much weight. After our Taiwan visit, I quickly gained back all the weight, and now I'm having trouble cutting them off back because I'm too lazy to stick to my training schedule. Banyak je alasan!

Maybe seeing my weight on that scale will drive me to get up and realize those nicely laid plans. Just maybe.

p/s: I miss you

shall we run now?

2010-03-30T15:57:00.003+08:00

I hate it when I never got any replies from you, just as much as you hate it too. Not even a message you sent me. So instead of worrying, I was beginning to ignore. The fact that I was too ignorant regrets me.

It was only recently that I found out you were caught. I'm sorry, I didn't know that earlier, when being your significant other means I should be the one who knows it first. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know who to call, how to save you, in that very strange place. I don't know anyone there but you. I can't even think of any reason that those people kept you in captivity. Why the hell would they do that? You can't even outrun a chicken, let alone take over a plane and crash some buildings or shoot people. You're not that kind of person. You're the loveliest person I know. And I know your friends adore you almost as much as I do. Why would they take you away from me?

And when I managed to sneak into that place where those people keep you, I was relieved. I knew I could get you out, take you away, and back to my arms again. I KNEW I WOULD.

But I got a horrific view of blood and a beaten-up face of yours, instead.

You were literally torn apart. I couldn't even imagine what they did to you, but your conditions were so bad. SO BAD, that I had to wipe off the blood from your face to fix your hair. You were so messed up, your face were covered in blood plus sweat. They tied you up, and I don't want to even recall the wild thoughts that ran through my mind upon seeing you like that. Then came the most worrying thought, whether you'd survive or not. You were too bad. So seriously totally torn apart. I was starting to think of not having you for the rest of my life, and I cried.

And so I frantically ran to you, shaking you of your unconsciousness, and desperately trying to let you go, before those people came and literally barbecued us together.

When you saw me, I was glad you could respond. Those eyes. Those lips. Those tied hands that wipe the tears off my face, and while doing that, you said something. A little something.

"hey baby, can you do me a favour? Boleh tak bunuh orang sekarang?"

And you smiled while uttering those words to me. A smile that, back then, often cheers me up, but at that moment, it crushed my heart so badly that I almost fainted. You were so calm. And I don't know what that means.

"why the fuck would I wanna kill you, you fucking idiot?! I came here to take you away, and here you are saying those to me? What were you thinking?"

I cried badly while screaming those words. But you stopped me midway.

"I'd rather die in your hands then in someone else's. Bunuh orang sekarang, before they come and take you away. Save yourself. And please remember, I love you so much that nobody knows it but me. I'd always be watching you from above"

We had our last hug, our last kiss.

And then everything stops.

p/s: I cried after waking up to this nightmare (evening-mare, whatever you want to call it)

I'm on my way to kill people

2010-03-26T12:01:00.006+08:00

Please please please

I'm just too emotional. It's that time of the month, after all

.

Nevertheless.

Today, we're going to search for your gangster gene (YOUR gangster gene, I found mine alreadybeehehehehhe )

*some of this can be very technical , so you can always Google those terms up, or personally ask questions through comments =)

Yesterday I went to a Bioinformatics workshop, held in Dr Shahir's lab, and conducted by MGRC. It was a lot of fun, considering that I managed to get one of the prizes during the quiz .

Hehe

It was very, very informative, and I'm already considering to attend the Advanced Workshop at the office in MidValley .

So anyway.

There are researches going on concerning human genomes, the traits and the mechanism behind it. One particular interesting find that has been concluded is that human characteristics are much influenced by our genes. Believe me, no?

Our genes are much like switches, they can be turned on and off. If you want to become regenerative, and grow back your limbs after tearing them apart in an accident, just turn off the p21 gene. If you think being Ted Bundy or Al Capone is cool , turn off your MAOA gene and you'll be massacring your way without mercy (I don't recommend doing this actually, and don't hold me liable for any loss okay ).

I hear questions.

"If it is as easy as that, than why not do it?"
"Why not implement it now, reduce the needs for organs, etc etc?"

Well, this is the answer from my point of view. It might be wrong, so if it IS wrong, please correct me =)

Human genomes are of a large database. VERY LARGE indeed. Much of the functions are still unknown, there may be pathways which are still undiscovered, and the network between genes might be more complex than we can imagine. So if a research concluded that this particular gene encodes for the production of that particular hormones etc, that is only it. What about the links to other genes? What are the effects towards other unrelated (?) genes if we turn those on or off? Those 'junk DNAs' which make up over 98% of our genomes, are they really junks ?

So, the best solution is, more researches, experiments, and bald heads studying gene expressions

. Hehe

So that is my answer. You guys are welcomed to discuss on this, I'd be happy to get more knowledge from different people of different perspectives.

Tips to improve your English

2010-03-20T15:52:00.004+08:00

Salam and hi

these are my tips for improving English language, as requested by some of you. Note that these are the things that I use to do, and if you don't have the effort, nothing will work anyway.

Read as much English materials as you can . It can be about anything, but I prefer to read stuff that I like, those concerning the things I'm interested in. One interesting fact about this method is that you kind of kill two birds with one stone, so surf away and look for articles!

NEVER EVER FEEL SHY TO SPEAK ENGLISH IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS . This one is an understatement, but many people take this advice for granted. Let it be broken, you'll learn as you go along. Speaking is an art, not some rocket-science magic. If people correct you, thank them. If people boo you, well, sooner or later you'll be booing them back.

And yes, listening to songs often helps . I find that Imogen Heap, Linkin Park and few others really help in improving English. Do find those bands or singers that you like though. Those that I've just mentioned are my likes, so if you love Taylor Swift then just listen to Taylor Swift . If you're unsure of certain word usage or sentence in the lyrics, Google them away. Google is not just for intricate researches and assignments. It's a HUGE library of knowledge, and that knowledge includes English too.

Last but not least, please, please, please, practice. Either by writing, or speaking. This is the only thing that will determine the outcome of those methods I stated earlier. Don't be afraid of making mistakes, it's how humans learn anyway.

yes, I know some of the words I use here are unheard of , so please, Google is just a few types away, so now it's your turn to put these advices in action .

p/s: And please don't make fun of others' usage of English language when you are not so good yourself . Being humble is the way to go . Learn from other people's mistakes, and improve yourself.

spicy chicken. Nyum nyum!

2010-03-19T19:38:00.002+08:00

Wow, this is quite an achievement. Two entries in one day. I had these days during my first year here, but now time doesn't permit me to post as much as before.

I just miss my family. I keep thinking about them these past few days. I cried, yeah. I've been missing so much time to be with my family, and I'm too pre-occupied with studies and other works when in fact I shouldn't.

I just wonder how's my mother, is she okay?
I just wonder what do they have for lunch and dinner today? Because I miss the spicy fried chicken, that rempah one
How's my little sister? (you're not so little anyway, so don't feel so good about that lol). Our shopping sprees? Our mengarut merepek time together?
How are my brothers? Did anyone teach them maths today?
And my dad, who washes the dishes? Did anyone clean the house?
My cats (Boboy, Shino, Cotton, those lovely fluffy kittens, the uncountable cats at my house, the neighbour's, the whole lot). I used to feed you guys, and believe me, back then I hated waking up in the morning to do that. But now I wish I could feed you guys every day.

I have nothing else to regret other than not being there for my family when I can. It sucks, I've been a bitch. I keep repeating "Hazim - no promises" and "Hazim - hujan" on my cellphone. I wish I could go back now and hand them their Taiwan souveniers. I wish I was rich enough to buy my family return tickets to Europe. I wish I had the fortune enough to take my mother for Hajj, and I wish I had a tremendous amount of money to buy whatever my brothers and sister want. Believe me, if I had those, I would.

So many things struck my heart lately. Call it emotional or whatever. People sometimes can have the guts really. Unnecessary guts. I looked at this page SAYA BENCI PADA ORANG YANG MEMBUANG BAYI (I hate those who dump babies) and I kept thinking:

"those babies are so innocent, and they're as pure as they can be, despite the blood and tears, and why do these mothers decide to throw them away? Burn them? Dump them near rivers? Flush them down the toilet?"

you really need to have guts to that to those little lovely beings. Guts that will take you to Hell.

I'm not preaching, I'm not even a nice girl myself, but I'm humane.

To YOU, I'm sorry for not being there when you need me. It makes me feel bad. I'm bad.

p/s: I think I need to let all these out. Maybe TKD will do.

CUNx Tuesday

2010-03-19T13:12:00.002+08:00

Salam and hi all..

I'm sorry for not updating for quite some time. Been very very busy with the delegation, and few other upcoming projects. Not forgetting classes and assignments, presentations (3 or 4 presentations, to be exact. All in the same week ). For my Taiwan journey, all I can say is: UNFORGETTABLE . I'll update more stories on my days in Taiwan after the exams, and you can check them out through the delegation's official blog which I'll post the address later.

I'm a bit stressed out . I'm sorry. I'm not so strong after all, physically. My spirit says "Go for it!" when in fact my feet are already dragging their way to class. I'm tired, I know I'm tired, but I have to be strong. I have to act strong. I'm sorry if I've been acting like a bitch this semester . For those who put up with me and stay, you are the most wonderful person in the universe.

I've already started few researches and studies for my FYP . I'm planning to do something about grid computing, and I need some input from you guys, especially the seniors . ISGC 2010 has been very informational to me, despite having to pretend to understand faults, seismic movement and few other geological terms only people living in a cave could understand.

The event is a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity. I hope there will be a second time.

And for those additional commitments, KMBG (activity), MEGA (sponsorship), MASUM, Taiwan (again, yes. I got the offer), my soft skills are very much needed. And most of them involves money, talking to people, and being bold. ARE YOU BOLD ENOUGH TO CHALLENGE YOURSELF?

okay people, reports are waiting. I'll update more later

p/s:I have few tourneys coming up. Those living near Intec Shah Alam, I'm coming to your place :)

my dearest Wil, you are my life. Thanks for your trust. I love you

...

2010-03-09T00:31:00.001+08:00

I need to confess

to those who knows, I'm sorry. People are right, love conquers all

Scarlet ribbons

2010-02-25T01:14:00.003+08:00

HAVE YOU EVER FELT LOVE SO MUCH THAT IT BRINGS TEARS TO YOUR EYES?

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ARE THOSE TEARS FOR, AND WHY WE SHED IT DESPITE FEELING HAPPY THAT THAT PARTICULAR PERSON IS OURS, AND FOREVER OURS?

Taiwan lai lai lai!

2010-02-22T19:29:00.002+08:00

In less than 10 days = 240 hours, I'm going to Taiwan. Excited is an understatement! ISGC here we come!

What I want to say here is, I'm proud. I'm proud to have such supportive team members. We have waited from June 2009, with all that tiny glitches and silent talks among us, and now, Taiwan is just 10 days away. I'm touched, really. One of my team members almost backed out due to his undone PSM, but luckily he pulled back the decision, and I'm glad. Working so hard together, I can't let you let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity slip away, just like that.

And to others, you guys rock too.

Today I'm not feeling so well. I have runny nose, my head's feeling a little funny and my eyes sort of strained out, like I've been holding them open for 2 weeks without a single blink.

Is it fever? Atau mengada-ngada je?

Yesterday I went for a little blog-walking. Reading some of the blogs makes me want to puke, really (and I'm talking about those blogs owned by people that I know). To new readers of my blog, thanks for stopping by.

4 eyeballs

2010-02-10T18:51:00.003+08:00

This super hectic week will end soon! I can't wait!

But then, holidays won't be holidays with assignments and projects I'm taking with me. Talk about multi-tasking at home

statistics: 2 exercises, with one we have to do twice; one with excel, and one using manual calculations

techniques in molecular biology: a webpage with information on molecular biology. My group has chosen vectors. And that webpage is still under progress, and I'm thinking of finishing it during the holidays

algorithm analysis: SO MANY MANY MANY ASSIGNMENTS, all in forms of journals. The latest one I got from Mrs Shahreen is consistency calculations for 19 sequences. Each with up to 1034 members. I'm going to have 4 eyeballs after this

.
.
.

and the list goes on and on..

Currently Coolblogging =p

2010-02-07T23:06:00.002+08:00

Mood: Ultra-grumpy. Sumpah muka aku macam Ultraman yang jahat tu bila kena fire dengan Ultraman baik

Song: Lady Gaga- Monster (I'm in love with this lady. She's super talented )

Okay I have to admit. I'm currently addicted to something. It's the stuff every girl is talking about (here anyway). Few bloggers have posted about this one currently-in stuff which makes me want to join the crowd as well.

COOLBLOG

To be specific, Coolblog's latte oreo with pearls . Ahh, those pearls. You people might have the same thoughts I had when I first saw the booth here.

Those are actually sagos (sagu). Those large, round sagos are called sago pearls, or simply pearls.

I can't believe I took the trouble going to Jusco Taman U just to buy that one cup of drink, only to finish it within half an hour. I wonder what else they put inside the cup beside latte, ice cubes, pearls and sugar.

*I did went into a headache frenzy after drinking a cup jut now. Probably due to the ice .

So anyway, I managed to buy new a set of personal hygiene products to replace the old one. An anti-dandruff shampoo, to cure the itch on my head (which I think caused by stress and piles of work), a new medicated (sort of ) body shampoo to cure my acne breakouts, and a new face cleanser.

Mind you, it's the first time I ever used those products, and they all work like a charm (minus the shampoo though. Have to wait for another couple of days to feel the effects)

The acne-breakout stuff, works like magic . The cleanser? Well at least my face feels 'clean', despite the scars and blackheads .

Okay, I better stop. Assignments are waiting, projects are calling, test is haunting, and works are piling. Need to settle them all before I go back to KL and see my family.

Ouh yeah, before I forget, I love you. Please bear with me.

so near, yet so far =(

2010-02-05T21:58:00.003+08:00

IMOGEN HEAP IS COMING TO SINGAPORE ON 29TH MARCH 2010

I WANT TO GO AND WATCH HER, BUT THE STUDENT PRICE TICKETS ARE SOLD-OUT, AND THE ONLY OPTION I HAVE IS BUYING THE RM250 TICKET.

SO MUCH FOR MY DARLING IMMI

SHOULD I GO?

I REALLY REALLY WANT TO SEE HER IN ACTION LIVE

Semangat assabiah zaman moden

2010-02-04T02:58:00.001+08:00

Salam..

terlalu banyak perkara berlaku hari ini. Jadi maafkan aku kerana membuang masa membuat posting picisan ni.

Training TKD tadi sungguh kejam. Circuit test 2 round memang cukup untuk buat aku rasa macam ada otot baru nak tumbuh di pinggang.dan bawah perut. Macam nak menangis aku push-up 20 kali sepantas mungkin. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that I improved, from 11++ minutes to 9.02 minutes. I'll keep improving!

Tu belum masuk training footworks. Yang ni tak sukar sangat, tapi masih memerlukan kerahan tenaga. Dan bila lutut bertembung lutut dengan kelajuan 3.70 m/s, anda akan dapat melihat mata aku bulat besar menahan sakit. Tapi aku seronok dengan training tadi ^^

Aku rasa semacam ada satu suasana kurang enak yang terjadi di sekeliling aku. Sekeliling can be anywhere, and it can involve anybody.

Buat baik dengan semua orang, akan dibalas baik juga nanti. Hidup kita sebagai manusia, akan berkait rapat dengan manusia lain juga, sama ada kita sedar atau tak, secara langsung atau tak. Dan aku rasa kita sebagai manusia ada hak, untuk berkawan dengan sesiapa yang kita mahu. Maaflah, aku tak maksudkan sesiapa, cuma aku rasa kadang-kala kita lupa. Aku pun begitu juga. Aku tak perlu clique, sebab aku tak perlu tambah masalah dalam hidup aku. Berkawan dengan semua itu lebih baik.

Zaman jahiliah dulu bolehlah wujud semangat assabiah. Dalam berkawan tak perlu rasanya :)

pelik tapi benar

2010-02-02T07:29:00.001+08:00

PEOPLE SAYS CURIOSITY KILLS THE CAT

I'M NOT A CAT, SO THAT DOES NOT APPLY TO ME, EH?

ANYWAY

feeling a little bit curious.

~~Kenapa tiba-tiba selepas pilihanraya kampus, blog Pro-Mahasiswa sudah boleh dilayari menggunakan network UTM? Kalau nak block, baik block sampai bila-bila.~~

Sorry. I used broadband to open the page. My mistake

PRK UTM edisi 4

2010-01-30T11:21:00.000+08:00

Salam dan hi

Keputusan rasmi PRK UTM 2010 sudah pun keluar.
(ini adalah hasil copy-paste dari website Pro-Mahasiswa UTM)

Keputusan Pilihanraya Kampus: Pemilihan Majlis Perwakilan Mahasiswa Universiti Teknologi Malaysia 2009/2010

Kerusi Umum:

1. Muhammad Zaki Bin Omar - 7837
2. Nor Amanina Binti Ab Rahim - 7335
3. Mohd Rozi Bin Harun - 6778
4. Muhammad Miqdad Bin Che Mohd Rozi - 6360
5. Nur Syazana Binti Azahar - 5992
6. Ahmat Rajab Bin Khairul Yusri - 5899
7. Muhammad Uzair Bin Azizan - 5739
8. Farah Hanim Mohd Dexter Howell - 5729
9. Yin Leang Huat - 5659
10. Siti Mariam Abdul Lathiff - 5655

Kerusi Fakulti:

Fakulti Alam Bina:
1. Nurfatin Aqilah Binti Mohd Yusof -547
2. Noor Aimran Bin Samsudin - 503
3. Mohd Ainuddin Bin Khairuddin - 403

Fakulti Biosains Dan Biokejuruteraan:
1. Iezzat Emeer Bin Affandi - 189
2. Nor Hafiza Binti Omar - 183
3. Khairina 'Izzati Binti Amir Hussain - 149

Fakulti Kejuruteraan Awam:
1. Siti Amirah Binti Basirun - 683
3. Nurulhayati Bte Md Yusoff - 645
2. Mohd Affendi Bin Ismail - 621

Fakulti Kejuruteraan Bioperubatan dan Sains Kesihatan:
1. Ng Ken Hoo (menang tanpa bertanding)
2. Jihan Atikah Binti Md Jalani (menang tanpa bertanding)
3. Nazirahhanim Binti Sharipudin (menang tanpa bertanding)

Fakulti Kejuruteraan Elektrik:
1. Nur Azim Fahada Bin Ahmad - 870
2. Ku Abd Muhyi Bin Ku Abd Hamid - 841
3. Umi Kalsom Binti Mohamad Yusof - 633

Fakulti Kejuruteraan Kimia dan Kejuruteraan Sumber Asli:
1. Izam Ikhwan Bin Kamaruddin - 918
2. Nor Aida Binti Yusoff - 713
3. Ahmad Syairazi Bin Rasid - 653

Fakulti Kejuruteraan Mekanikal:
1. Muhammed Amirul Asyraf bin Hasnan - 822
2. Mohd Fadzli Bin Ismail - 818
3. Nurul Fatiha Binti Mesbah - 805

Fakulti Kejuruteraan dan Sains Geoinformasi:
1. Wan Ahmad Hazwan Bin Wan Daud - 545
2. Nur Syahida Binti Anuar - 472
3. Chew Jian Long - 467

Fakulti Pendidikan:
1. Mohd Sharhan Bin Abu Bakar - 636
2. Anis Bin Abd Wahab - 622
3. Ummu Sulaim Binti Osman - 542

Fakulti Pengurusan dan Pembangunan Sumber Manusia:
1. Berlina Dolores Doyou - 885
2. Mohd Hazizi Bin Ishak - 644
3. Loke Wei Kit - 458

Fakulti Sains:
1. Nurul Khalida Binti Hidzir - 772
2. Iskandar Zulkarnain Bin Mohamad Idris - 744
3. Lee Wei Bin - 540

Fakulti Sains Komputer dan Sistem Maklumat:
1. Mohamad Ariff Bin Makhfudz - 534
2. Nur Aqilah Binti Sabri - 529
3. Chaw Sau Shen - 463

Kampus UTMKL
5 Orang calon bebas telah menang tanpa bertanding

**Nota:
Pro Mahasiswa - 18 Kerusi
Evolusi Mahasiswa - 28 kerusi
Bebas - 5 Kerusi

Nak aku bagi review ke?

Hmm, pada pendapat aku, keputusan ini bagai sudah dijangka. Dengan manifesto pelik-pelik pun boleh menang. Kekalahan Pro-M juga sudah aku jangka, walaubagaimanapun tahniah kerana berjaya meningkatkan sokongan dan bilangan kerusi yang dimenangi di MPP ^^

Dalam tempoh 7 hari ni, aku harap segala poster calon-calon yang muka-bolehlah-tahan tu ditanggalkan secepat mungkin. Dan semalam setelah perbincangan panjang lebar dengan senior aku, aku merasakan bahawa perlunya aku meletakkan luahan perasaan mereka di sini untuk dijadikan bacaan kita bersama. Apa yang mereka luahkan ada betulnya.

1) sistem baru untuk berkempen perlu diadakan. Sistem ini hendaklah lebih 'green', di mana setiap calon hanya dihadkan untuk membuat sebilangan poster sahaja (same amount for every candidate). Ini akan menguji kebijaksanaan calon dalam meletakkan poster-poster tersebut di tempat yang strategik untuk menarik perhatian pengundi. Seperti yang kita lihat sekarang, lambakan poster yang terlalu banyak sudah mula menyakitkan mata. Sudahlah diletak merata-rata, jumlahnya yang terlalu banyak juga membuat mata serabut melihat. Poster yang terlalu banyak juga sudah menggalakkan amalan pembaziran di kalangan mahasiswa (calon terutamanya). Calon-calon juga seharusnya lebih menggunakan medium seperti berpidato dan sebagainya untuk mahasiswa menilai calon-calon dari segi kredibiliti dan kepimpinan yang mereka ada. Mungkin lebih baik diadakan bahas terbuka antara calon untuk membincangkan persoalan-persoalan yang boleh dijadikan isu bersama

2) masa berkempen harus dihentikan dua atau tiga hari sebelum hari membuang undi. Ini adalah untuk memberi peluang pada mahasiswa untuk menilai sendiri calon-calon yang ingin mereka undi tanpa ada pengaruh luar LANGSUNG. Semasa tempoh 'bertenang' ni, calon dilarang menyampaikan pidato atau mengedar flyers. Hanya biarkan poster sahaja bergantungan sehingga hari membuang undi.

Aku baru mendapat informasi yang agak mengejutkan semalam. Rupa-rupanya jurusan Bioinformatik yang terdapat di FSKSM UTM telah direbut oleh 3 FAKULTI BERBEZA sewaktu masih dalam perancangan pengajaran. FSKSM telahpun berjaya mendapatkan jurusan ini dan diletakkan di bawah Jabatan Kejuruteraan Perisian. Apa yang aku (dan kebanyakan coursemates) kurang berpuas hati adalah perhatian yang diberikan oleh fakulti terhadap kami. Jika ditanya pada rakan sefakulti yang lain, aku yakin, 6 daripada 10 orang yang ditanya mungkin akan menanya kembali "ade eh course bioinfo..?" kepada kami. Malah rakan yang berada di dalam jurusan di bawah jabatan yang sama juga kurang mengetahui mengenai kewujudan Bioinformatik di FSKSM. Jurusan ini juga diletakkan di bawah jabatan dan jagaan yang bukan major dalam Bioinformatik, dan ini agak menyukarkan pembelajaran aku dan rakan-rakan. Boleh bayangkan cikgu Matematik mengajar Sejarah? Begitulah perumpamaannya.

Aku bukan merungut, cuma ingin tahu.

Jika ada pendapat bolehlah diluahkan di ruangan comments. Ouh, aku tak perlu bahasa kurang ajar macam orang tak sekolah. Sila beri komen dengan sopan santun okay.

A little something

2010-01-28T18:44:00.000+08:00

Salam dan hi..

Hari ini adalah hari membuang undi sempena PRK UTM. Sepanjang pemerhatian aku, keadaan seperti biasa, cuma mungkin sedikit kecoh di BK5 FSKSM kerana para pengundi menyerbu untuk menjalankan tanggungjawab masing-masing. Setiap pengundi diberikan sedikit saguhati iaitu sebiji epal dan air kotak (tahun lepas dapat planner UTM yang saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangat cantik =_="). Terdapat juga kelibat-kelibat penyokong yang memakai t-shirt merah di fakulti. Secara keseluruhannya, pilihanraya kampus kali ini berjalan lancar, dan diharapkan tiada sebarang kesulitan berlaku sehingga pengumuman calon-calon yang menang nanti.

*maaf kerana tidak sempat update PRK UTM edisi 4. Aku nak tunggu keputusan keluar ^^

Anyway

Sejak kecil aku belajar mengawal emosi, kerana aku sebenarnya emo. Walaupun kadang-kala aku boleh dilihat berapi-api bercakap dan berkata-kata (mengumpat, mengutuk =_="), tetapi aku sebenarnya telah berusaha supaya tidak bertindak mengikut emosi dan sentiasa menggunakan akal dalam melaksanakan sesuatu perkara. Atas nasihat seorang rakan, aku berjaya mengawal diri dari dikuasai emosi hari ini.

P/S: somebody please take care of me. I can be uncontrollable sometimes

dari mahasiswa, untuk mahasiswa

2010-01-28T00:02:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum dan salam perpaduan

Buat rakan-rakan calon PRK UTM yang aku hormati

Pertama sekali aku ucapkan tahniah kerana berani. Berani ke hadapan dan memperjuangkan manifesto anda, untuk kebaikan mahasiswa. Manifesto mengarut atau tidak, aku tidak akan persoalkan sekarang. Keberanian anda adalah aset penting yang diperlukan mahasiwa kini, untuk memastikan kebajikan kami semua terjaga. Anda adalah wakil-wakil yang akan membantu mencorakkan halatuju universiti, dan diharapkan dengan kemenangan anda nanti, segala kepincangan yang berlaku di dalam universiti dapat dibetulkan. Demi kebaikan mahasiswa keseluruhannya. Usah peduli pada ugutan bodoh, teruskan usaha anda, dan anda akan memperolehi kepercayaan mahasiswa. Jangan biarkan diri anda dicaturi permainan pihak-pihak tertentu yang mempunyai kepentingan sendiri, sebaliknya perjuangkan apa yang ANDA rasa relevan, dan perjuangkannya habis-habisan.

Aku faham, mewakili mahasiswa bukan mudah. Manifesto yang dirangka perlu realistik, dan idealistik, agar selari dengan keperluan semasa mahasiswa. Kami tidak mengharapkan janji-janji manis yang membutakan mata, tetapi biarlah sederhana dan mampu dilaksana. Walaupun ada antara manifesto yang aku baca semacam ada kurangnya, tetapi aku percaya, jika anda bersungguh dan ikhlas untuk memperbaiki taraf hidup mahasiswa, anda mampu melaksanakannya. Apa yang aku harapkan agar segala janji-janji yang anda telah taburkan dilaksanakan dengan penuh semangat setelah anda menang, sebagaimana semangatnya anda membentang manifesto di sudut pidato PRK.

Aku juga ingin meminta maaf, sekiranya ada posting atau entri (di blog atau Facebook) yang telah melukakan hati anda sebagai calon PRK UTM tahun ini. Aku harap segala rungutan aku diambil sebagai pemangkin untuk anda lebih bersemangat dalam berjuang di pihak mahasiswa. Anda harus ingat, Malaya mungkin tidak bebas dari cengkaman penjajah sekiranya rakyat hanya berpuas hati berada pada satu takat sahaja. Diharap segala ketidakpuasan hati aku diambil sebagai sebahagian dari nadi anda untuk berbakti pada mahasiswa dan memberikan khidmat terbaik anda. Pro-M atau Evo-M, itu juga bukanlah persoalan. Aku percaya jika anda benar-benar ikhlas dengan perjuangan anda, walau di pihak mana anda berada, anda akan tetap berada di bawah satu organisasi yang sama, di mana segala ideologi, ikutan dan doktrin semasa pilihanraya akan dibuang sejauhnya, dan anda akan bekerja bersama. Menang nanti, Pro-M atau Evo-M, itu tidak sepatutnya dijadikan isu. Kami mahasiswa tidak peduli pihak mana yang menang, kami hanya peduli pada tugas anda, sama ada dilaksanakan sebaiknya atau tidak.

Selamat bertanding. Semut akan terus memantau dan memerhati ^^

P/S: diharap tiada yang mempersoal mengapa aku tidak bertanding untuk PRK. Aku ada sebab sendiri

PRK UTM edisi 3

2010-01-27T00:52:00.001+08:00

Salam dan hi..

Perang poster telahpun bermula hari ini. Perang yang agak dingin pada pandangan aku, memandangkan poster yang dinaikkan agak sedikit berbanding tahun lepas. Hari belum panas mungkin, cuma di Facebook dan di blog-blog, sudah mula hangat dengan pelbagai cerita, pelbagai topik, dari yang baik kepada yang buruk, dari Evo-M, kepada Pro-M. Semua aku telan, semua aku hadam, dan semua aku nilai semasak-masaknya. I smell something fishy here (and no, I'm not going to tell you what it is. For me to know, for you to find out yourself. Jadilah mahasiswa prihatin =))

Pemerhatian aku hari ini:
1) banyak poster rakan sekelas yang turut bertanding. Pergi ke mana-mana, poster yang sama. Banyak poster calon Evo-M.
2) Calon fakulti ada yang terdiri daripada pelajar tahun pertama

dan ada lagi beberapa pemerhatian rawak dan spontan tadi yang aku malas nak taip panjang-panjang di sini.

TETAPI

hasil blog-walking dan pembacaan dari pelbagai sumber ;), kehangatan pilihanraya kampus sudah mula terasa. Aku sudah dapat rasa perang yang akan dilancarkan (macam pensyarah statistik punya ayat O_O). Semasa kelas tadi aku dapat lihat penggerak-penggerak sudah mula menggerakkan jentera pihak masing-masing dengan menggantung poster di dewan kuliah dan fakulti.

Banyak juga berita pelik-pelik yag aku dapat korek hari ini. Kebanyakan assumptions aku betul, dan kebanyakan berita dari blog yang aku baca juga betul. Tak kurang juga berita yang memeranjatkan, yang membuatkan aku rasa semakin banyak perkara pincang yang terjadi di dalam UTM ni.

Aku sangat tertarik dengan status seorang rakan di Facebook mengenai salah satu gagasan di UTM ini yang sangat bersatu dan realistik dengan manifesto masing-masing. Aku sangat bersetuju dengan pandangan rakan tersebut.

P/S: Mungkin hari esok, situasi akan berubah. Wait and see. Edisi 4 akan menyusul selepas ulangkaji Software Engineering. Stay tuned ^^

PRK UTM edisi 2

2010-01-24T00:32:00.001+08:00

Salam dan hi..

Wah, penat balik dari Majlis Penghargaan AJK MiTC. Setelah makan sekenyangnya di Pizza Hut dan meronggeng bersama AJK-AJK dan seorang felo di Danga Bay, aku sekarang merasa macam nak berblogging pula.

Aku baru selesai memeriksa e-mail, dan biasalah, sempena Pilihanraya Kampus yang bakal berlangsung ni (hari membuang undi adalah pada hari Rabu 28/01/2010), inbox aku sudah mula dipenuhi e-mail calon-caon yang bertanding. Cubaan untuk memancing undi mungkin, berdasarkan pada apa yang aku baca. Nak tergelak pun ada. Nak tahu kenapa?

Janji-janji manis yang ditaburkan tu. Kelakar aku baca.

Student Card untuk diskaun tiket wayang, petrol, outlet tertentu..? Diskaun 50% untuk tiket kapal terbang untuk semua pelajar? ZERO INTEREST IN PTPTN?

Yuran makin meningkat, ada hati mahu berjanji sedemikian rupa dengan mahasiswa?

Aku masih ingat lagi semasa zaman kebodohan aku sebagai pelajar tahun pertama di UTM ni, pelbagai janji yang lebih mudah daripada ini pun, tak nampak kelibat pelaksanaannya.

Ini lagi janji yang melibatkan kerajaan, melibatkan PTPTN?

Talian korporat dengan syarikat-syarikat berprofil tinggi? Ini lagi buat aku tergelak besar.

KEPADA CALON-CALON YANG MEMBACA BLOG AKU INI, SILA AMBIL PERHATIAN:

SELAGI MAKMAL DAN BILIK KULIAH DI FSKSM MASIH MENGGUNAKAN KOMPUTER DAN HARDWARE YANG SUDAH BOLEH DIBUANG DALAM SUNGAI,

SELAGI KEMUDAHAN INTERNET DI KAMPUS MASIH MACAM SAMPAH SEKEJAP CONNECT SEKEJAP DISCONNECT

SELAGI MASIH ADA KORUPSI DI KALANGAN WARGA UTM

SELAGI MASIH ADA KARENAH BIROKRASI YANG MENYUSAH DAN MEMBEBANKAN PELAJAR

JANGAN MIMPI NAK BERJANJI MANIS SEGEMPAK-GEMPAKNYA DENGAN MAHASISWA.

Ini bukan amaran. Ini sekadar peringatan. Buat sekadar yang mampu. Jangan tahu berjanji sahaja.

P/S: Intel tak pandang komputer dinasaur

facebook statuses

2010-01-20T00:00:00.000+08:00

Statuses in Facebook which make me feel like cursing on Twitter

1) ala, lagi 0.02/0.05/0.07 nak dekan (and some other floating-point numbers concerning exam results, supposedly to brag about their achievements.)
2) hari ni bf/gf saye merajuk dgn saye bla3 (+ curses between each other and other things which are supposed to stay private. )
3) hari ni saye brade di london, italy, kedai muthu etc.. [via Macbook] (ni yang paling macam sampah sekali. Aku rasa Celcom SMS je yang akan kuarkan status via dalam square bracket macam ni. Ayah aku guna Macbook Air bagi komen di Facebook takde pula keluar [via Macbook Air].)
4) okay saye dah mengantuk. slmt mlm semua (this one is still forgiven though. But still, who wants to know whether you're sleepy or not? Tweet it instead.)

if anyone of you wants to add something to this, please do so via comments.

I'm stressed out!

2010-01-17T08:23:00.007+08:00

Salam and hi everyone

*that title is misleading. I'm not stressed out. I'm just tired, but happy ^^

So far my life has been great. I managed to at least fill my time doing useful things (war on C&CKW?), and jogged all the way to Balai Cerap UTM, twice. I have to keep fit. USM Open is coming up this Friday and I'm excited. I also managed to capture few HDRs, and the outcome is not so good, but I can still improve. I haven't got any tripod (left it at Papa's home before I went back to Kedah), and the settings were quite simple (only 3 different exposures), so basically it is appropriate that I got few blurs and camera shakes on the images.

Ouh, not forgetting Techniques in Molecular Biology quiz on Monday, Engineering Statistics test on Wednesday, and Artificial Intelligence quiz on Thursday. Wow

Loads of things happened lately. It's weird how people can be so rude, despite knowing everybody else is tired, and facing the same damn stress, maybe even more, each day.

It is depressing to be surrounded by this kind of people. You know when we are surrounded by people who has negative perceptions over everything, the aura of that negativity somehow engulfs you. And it affects you as well. I'm trying to keep myself away from those dangerous aura by doing things I like and avoiding things I hate. Gaming and sports are my cure for stress. And YOU too ;)

I have to say offense is the least I felt when people (whoever I'm referring to doesn't matter) could not control their emotions in the middle of any occasion where formality and professionalism are kept firm. Emotions are not for display, they're to be kept at heart, and told to someone trusted. People at meetings CANNOT be trusted with emotions. And please, keep that grumpy face of yours to yourself. People need something better to look at other than your tensed out face. In the middle of a supposedly very happy occasion, you spoiled it, quite badly.

Aku tak faham apa maksud kau tunjuk muka kelat, keluar dari bilik mesyuarat tanpa meminta kebenaran atau sekurang-kurangnya beritahu secara baik, dan hempas pintu di depan seorang pengetua yang ada gelaran Dr, di depan felo dan ahli-ahli JKM yang ada kuasa untuk menyebabkan kau mungkin kehilangan kuota untuk tinggal di kolej, di depan seorang rakan baik yang telah memberi cadangan kepada pengarah untuk kau menyertai program tersebut, dan di depan junior yang melihat kau sebagai senior untuk dijadikan contoh. Aku juga mula memikirkan kemungkinan-kemungkinan yang akan terjadi semasa kau bekerja nanti. Kalau nak dibandingkan dengan aku yang sangatlah rendah tarafnya berbanding dengan kau yang kenal ramai orang dan mendapat biasiswa syarikat mana entah, sepatutnya sikap professional sudah menjadi sebahagian daripada lumrah hidup kau. Tapi aku rasa aku tak kisah kot. Hidup kau kan :).

Jika kau terbaca posting ini, aku harap kau ambil yang positif okay. Awal-awal aku minta maaf. Mungkin sukar untuk aku terima kebiadapan kau.

But like someone has said to me:

Do not let trivial matters put you down. You got many more important things to take care of

I'll keep that in mind.

2010-01-08T19:35:00.000+08:00

stereotype media dunia - bila orang ISLAM yang bom gereja, semua nak kecoh. Al-Quran kena pijak, umat Islam dibunuh, peraturan bodoh pakai burqa kena denda sampai beratus euro, takde pun nak kecoh?

Bias media yang dikawal kuasa dunia. ANDA menentukan apa yang anda baca

let's go green!

2010-01-06T17:27:00.003+08:00

STARTING 01/01/2010, THE USE OF POLYSTYRENE FOOD CONTAINER IS SUPPOSEDLY BANNED IN UTM, BUT THINGS ARE NOT GOING THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. WHATEVER IT IS, WHY NOT SUPPORT A GOOD CAUSE?

PLEASE PEOPLE, BE AS ECO-FRIENDLY AS YOU CAN. STOP THE USAGE OF POLYSTYRENE AND SWITCH TO THOSE CUTE TUPPERWARES! YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

p/s: will start bringing tupperware everywhere.

2010-01-01T20:09:00.002+08:00

Aku minta dikurniakan badan yang sihat dan otak yang ultra hebat untuk menuntut ilmu di UTM ni

Sebab ilmu je benda yang aku perlu untuk berjaya. Untuk bantu keluarga aku, untuk buat keputusan tepat mengenai masa depan aku, dan untuk terus hidup.

When everything else seems far from you, the only thing that is always near and inside you is what's inside your brain.

TOLONGLAH! AKU NAK DEKAN LAGI SEM NI!

Ameeen

2010-01-01T14:08:00.000+08:00

we always whine about how other people would always stare at this closed door without realizing another that has been opened for them. What if BOTH doors are open?

Choosing might be tougher than having to accept what you have =)

PRK UTM

2009-12-30T16:07:00.004+08:00

Aku benci gila bila tempat suci seperti universiti, yang sepatutnya menjadi medan menuntut ilmu, menjadi medan berperang dan berideologi politik

Aku benci bila macam-macam janji ditabur pada mahasiswa/i, tapi satu apa pun tak jalan. Tak kisah la pihak mana pun. Semasa pilihanraya bukan main lagi cakap berapi-api, tapi lepas pilihanraya, senyap macam tikus kepas kena kejar kucing. Apajadah?

Universiti asalnya tempat menyebarkan wadah yang murni (dan yang sepatutnya), tempat pelajar mengembangkan potensi diri, dan tempat untuk memperbaiki diri.

Apajadah pulak nak politik? Universiti bukan tempat untuk berpecah belah dan berperang sesama sendiri, dan menuding jari sesama sendiri.

Pada aku, sesiapa pun boleh menjaga kebajikan mahasiswa/i. Kesanggupan dan nilai tanggungjawab tu yang lebih utama. Jika bersatu, apa pun boleh dicapai.

Kenapa perlu racun kepala mahasiswa/i dengan doktrin-doktrin bodoh yang entah apa2?

Sedih baca tentang sikap orang kita yang lebih mengambil pendekatan 'siapa-hebat-dia-menang' daripada bersatu untuk sama-sama memperbaiki diri. Sedih baca tentang isu-isu bodoh yang tak sepatutnya menular masuk ke universiti, tiba-tiba menjadi isu besar di kalangan mahasiswa/i *yang ambil tahu

Kalau boleh aku memang tak mahu masuk campur untuk pilihanraya kampus kali ini. Tapi nak planner UTM punya pasal, aku sanggupkan juga. Nama siapa aku pangkah bukan isu. Kepada calon-calon sekelian, ingat tanggungjawab anda. Jangan tahu fikir nama, dan doktrin politik bodoh anda yang memesongkan niat anda untuk berbakti pada mahasiswa/i.

2009-12-25T23:45:00.001+08:00

penatlah menangis tiap-tiap malam

Review: Command & Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath

2009-12-24T23:44:00.006+08:00

Okay, aku tahu aku agak ketinggalan (2009 dah nak habislah wey) tapi aku masih mahu buat review untuk game Command and Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath

aku nak buat juga review. Tak kira. I love reviews

aku lambat mula main game ni sebab ada sedikit masalah teknikal yang tak dapat dielakkan. Setelah berjaya install game ni, aku pun mulakan misi sebagai Commander narlina untuk berperang dengan puak Nod. Ehh?

okay, aku orang Nod sebenarnya. Aku anti-GDI. Tapi kadang-kadang saja guna GDI. Untuk tambah kemahiran berperang *konon

Okay aku dah melalut panjang. Straight to the game

Okaylah, mula-mula aku tengok user interface game ni sangat mengancam dan kemas. Tapi sampai ke gameplay, aku rasa macam ada yang tak kena. Pixels gameplay macam pecah. Bila aku zoom in, jadi macam berkotak-kotak dah Construction Yard aku.

*mungkin settings LG Flatron patut diubah. I'll check on that.

yang lain semua sempurna. Movies (dan pelakonnya) boleh tahanlah. Banyak gadis-gadis askar yang sangat cantik dengan badan yang aku rasa sempurna yang membuatkan aku sanggup pergi training taekwondo 2 kali (atau mungkin 7 kali) seminggu semata-mata untuk mendapatkan bentuk badan sebegitu. Serius. They're hot. Tapi aku rasa Tanya dan Natasha dalam Red Alert 3 lagi panas kot.

General Kilian Qatar and Nadia = Nod's super hotties. Kena tengok mereka dalam movies C&CKW ni. Aku suka imej perempuan tough yang menguasai lelaki. Hahahhahahhhhahhha. Merepek.

Ingat perempuan cantik dan berbadan menarik ada dalam beauty pageant je? Hello, ketinggalan zamanlah. Melalui game inilah aku kenal apa erti perempuan tough berbadan seksi gila. Megan Fox dah lama kalah dengan mereka-mereka ni.

*aku takkan tinggal training. Aku janji. Demi badan cantik TT

Selain dari Nod dan GDI yang merupakan puak-puak utama yang berperang, ada lagi Scrin (yang ini puak terbaru), Steel Talons, Black Hand, Marked of Kane, Reaper-17, dan Traveler-59. Yang dua terakhir adalah daripada puak Scrin. Aku tak pernah lagi guna Scrin ni, dan mungkin lepas aku tulis review ni aku akan berhenti "sekejap" untuk sambung main game ni. Biasanya aku main menggunakan Nod. Mungkin selepas ini aku akan cuba menggunakan Scrin pula.

aku kurang menumpukan perhatian pada storyline game ni, sebab pada aku itu tak penting *padahal apakejadah entah aku review movies untuk game ni aku pun tak tahu =_="

Apa yang menarik pada aku adalah mode Global Conquest, di mana strategi berperang lebih penting daripada buat askar banyak-banyak gila dan serang atau capture building pihak musuh. Melalui mode ini kita boleh expand territory ke seluruh dunia, dan bergantung pada kemahiran serta strategi yang digunakan, kita boleh kuasai satu dunia dari sudut pandangan yang agak berbeza dari gameplay skirmish biasa.

aku suka Global Conquest ni. Serius mencabar minda. Tutorialnya saja cukup untuk buat aku pening lalat sekejap. Ia seperti Football Manager, tetapi untuk C&C3KW. Kira aku ni managerlah. Hehe

Maps yang ada juga pelbagai, dan aku masih mencuba setiap satu map tersebut. Aku kurang pasti sama ada ada downloadable maps untuk game ni, kalau ada, for sure I'll download them.

Cuma sedikit kelemahan game ini adalah user interface semasa gameplay yang agak memeningkan. Aku susah mahu cari button khas untuk letak bom pada bangunan, in fact, aku tak jumpa lagi button itu. Biasanya apabila kita klik pada satu-satu unit, segala ability dan skill unit tersebut akan dipaparkan (contohnya seperti unit Terrorist yang boleh bom bangunan atau Fanatics yang boleh bom bangunan dan bunuh diri sekali). Dalam game ni bila aku klik kat unit tersebut, interface tu sudah tiada. Sukar untuk aku cari semasa gameplay. Bila aku cuba tweak settings, segala apa hotkeys yang sangat-sangat memeningkan semua keluar *noob gila aku. Aduuu

*nanti aku jelajah lagi settings hotkeys tu

Lagi satu, 1 klik untuk menjana infantry akan generate 5 askar yang dikira sebagai 1 unit. Unikkan? Berbanding game biasa (atau game dulu-dulu) yang menghasilkan 1 unit askar untuk 1 klik, aku rasa function 1 klik 1 platun ni sangat berguna. Cepat dapat buat satu pasukan. Senang nak kawal. Cuma untuk Rocketeers, hanya dua orang sahaja yang boleh dilatih dengan satu klik. Begitu juga dengan unit-unit advanced yang lain.

Tak kisahlah. Janji aku seronok main game ni. Tak tidur malam pun tak mengapa. Dah lama aku gian nak main game C&CKW ni.

Rating: 8/10
aku rasa Red Alert 3 lagi bagus sikit kot

mata buntang

2009-12-23T18:20:00.003+08:00

Hana: weh, ko x g klas ke?
Aku: huh? klas kol bape? (sambil sibuk ber'facebook' dan membalas email Dr Shahir)
Hana: kol 10
Aku: sure? (sambil melihat timetable dalam folder)

jam waktu tu: pukul 9.32pagi

Aku: a'ah la. aaaaaaaaa!

aku ingat kelas pukul 11pagi =_="

2009-12-22T23:49:00.001+08:00

TRUE LOVE DOES NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING

IT SIMPLY DOES NOT END

I will annoy people. Seriously

2009-12-22T10:26:00.007+08:00

Salam dan hi..

Aku pun tak tahu apa motif aku menaip sebaris dua intro kat sini

Hehe

Sudah hampir dua minggu semester keempat bermula, walaupun aku sudah berada di sini hampir sebulan (thanks to gerak kerja Taiwan dan keinginan membuak-buak untuk ke Singapura). Semester yang hampir tiada beza dengan semester sebelumnya, cuma mungkin kerja yang sedikit bertambah dan komitmen yang sentiasa menanti untuk dipenuhi. Minggu pertama aku ke kelas, okaylah. Serabut menguruskan jadual dan pendaftaran subjek sudah menjadi kebiasaan. Subjek-subjek yang dipelajari juga agak menarik, walaupun sebenarnya aku bukanlah faham sangat mengenai prediction calculus, fuzzy logic, central limit theorem dan 1001 terma dan perkataan yang mungkin aku akan Google semasa mengulangkaji nanti.

rajin gila aku ke Perpustakaan Sultanah Zanariah untuk
mencari rujukan statistik kejuruteraan.
And I ended up borrowing The Practice of Statistics in the Life Sciences

Keserabutan dan ketidakbolehan berfikir juga mungkin disebabkan 'baby' kesayangan dihantar untuk rutin servis. Ada sedikit masalah dengan slot RAM pada motherboard yang memerlukan aku mengorek kembali segala resit-resit dan borang apakejadah untuk menuntut waranti. Semalam baru dia dihantar kembali, dan aku bagaikan jatuh ke dunia realiti semula.

Ouh Arlene sayang, I love you so much baby. Hehe

Komitmen semester ini juga tidak kurang beratnya:

Unit Multimedia Delegasi Taiwan
Ketua Multimedia MiTC
Pengarah MiSERV 2010
Asst Training Director UTMTKD
Data Mining untuk kajian Dr Shahir

Jadual waktu aku pada mulanya tidak begitu padat (dan aku kurang pasti mengapa boleh jadi begitu, sedangkan semester ini aku mengambil 18 jam kredit untuk semua subjek), tetapi setelah dicampur ditolak didarab dan dibahagi serta dikuasa-duakan aktiviti-aktiviti serta komitmen yang perlu aku selesaikan, aku memerlukan lagi 2 atau 3 jam tambahan kepada 24 jam yang sedia ada.

Mana la aku nak cekau 27-28 jam tu eh?

p/s: Semasa kelas Engineering Statistics tadi, aku merasa seronok membuat tutorial. What have I turned to? O_O

A story

2009-12-11T23:05:00.003+08:00

Salam and hi..

Today's entry is just a story. A story of a woman, which makes me feel grateful for everything that I have in my life, both good or bad, all the experiences that I've encountered.

My sister had an operation few weeks back due to appendix. She was alone inside the room, so my mother decided to stay back and be with her. And so I went home.

The next day, I went to the hospital. There was somebody else inside the room. A patient. A woman.

She was admitted due to breast cancer (or something like it, still can be fatal though). She was a single mother, supposedly with a son but her ex-husband took him away. She had no parents, no siblings, and the only person who took care of her was her grandmother. She is currently jobless, as her employer told her to quit due to the disease that she had.

And she was only 28.

The worst part is, she was admitted to the hospital only for the operation. Just moments after it, she got into her baju kurung and left the hospital. My sister asked her to stay, at least for a day, and this is what she said:

"akak xde duit dik.. yg ade dgn akak pn cume rm4 je.. akak bukan kaye mcm adik.."

My mother gave her RM50 before she left the hospital.

During the operation, she could feel the blades tore her skin, so the doctors were, like, literally skinning her alive . She could feel everything.

She paid barely enough for the surgery. And I know it is not enough to cover for the anasthetic, which is RM300 .

It makes me wonder though, is it compassion and a sense of pity that drive a doctor's passion, or MONEY?

NO MONEY = NO OPERATION = LIFE NOT SAVED?

somebody please correct this. Doctors, please, never EVER let money be the barrier between you, and someone's life

I AM GRATEFUL. I AM SO GRATEFUL OVER EVERYTHING I HAVE. ALHAMDULILLAH

P/S: kepada semua yang mengucapkan tahniah atas keputusan peperiksaan aku semester lepas, terima kasih. Aku akan cuba yang lebih baik untuk semester ini. Anyway, I wonder how that akak is doing now. Okay ke, tak okay ke..

First pictures with Canon 400D [kissdigitalX]

2009-12-10T12:52:00.008+08:00

The camera (using Sony Ericsson C510)

sukahati

2009-11-25T21:48:00.004+08:00

Salam and hi..

Here I am again. The same old holiday routines. Bangun pagi, sidai kain kalau tak hujan, main kucing, tengok Grey's Anatomy season zaman purba, dan main XBOX. I got my Tekken 6 already okay. And I'm in love with it. The new characters are just so cool. I'm now practicing these fingers on Bob and Zafina, and they're quite amazing.

But Christie is still my favourite babe .

I have to say, I'm eager to enter next semester. Eager because it is going to be perhaps one of the busiest semester during my studies. 18 credit hours (sila jangan terpedaya dengan nombor yang sedikit ni. Sistem jam kredit di UTM sangat sengal. 18 itu sudah sempadan. 19 sudah kena dapat pengesahan dekan. 20 (atau 21) maksimum. Jadi 18 tu SANGAT BANYAK okay ), MiTC, Taiwan, taekwondo trainings and tourneys, and a whole lot more activities.

I'm scared of this next semester's subjects. Major reason is because most of them are computing subjects, and only one biology subject (itu pun 2 jam kredit saja. Damn).

I'm now planning my timetable for next semester. My everyday schedule, so that I won't feel so messed up over the smallest things. Azam semester depan, kurangkan serabut ^^

Guitar Hero III

2009-11-24T15:43:00.004+08:00

Salam and hi..

Few nonsense postings has got me feeling somewhat ridiculous, so now I'll post something, that I want to share. That you guys MAY want to know. Maybe.

I've been spending these few hours reading other people's blogs. Few of them are personal, some are quite intriguing and informative, others are just rubbish. But I'm quite fascinated by an article that I've read somewhere, about this so-called game that has been labeled as 'menghina Islam'.

Oh God, I'll sound quite heretic for saying this.

It's Guitar Hero III, the one played on PC. I got that game on my PC. And to be honest I'm quite surprised when I saw the article that says this game has a few minute features that are supposedly 'menghina Islam'

First one: the font Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock is said to disguise the word Allah. Take a look at this theory, and tell me what you think.

The word Allah that is said to be disguised in the Roman numerals III and the word o.

What I'm going to say now is simply a personal opinion. Forgive me if I'm wrong, and please, if you disagree with it, please leave a proper comment, and we can discuss about it =)

For me, anything can be everything. Got me?

I'm not asking you to be open-minded, bla3 all that kind of stuff, but sometimes things are not what we see. I'd rather say we choose what we want to see. We can assume something is bad when in fact it is not THAT bad, and we can assume something is good even if it's rotten like hell. Just like this one

For me, it is just a font. If the creator if this game really wants to put a damp on Islam with this, it's his problem. But for me this is just a font, and I can't see anything wrong with it. For me, the person who came up with the idea that this font harasses us Muslims, he's quite paranoid with the issue.

UNLESS the font clearly shows us that it is downgrading Islam, I'd say it is safe to assume it's just a minor, tiny design flaw.

Second one:

That is not my work, I copypasted this from a blog

The Virgo sign has been mistaken as the word Allah. And if you look at the stage floor very carefully, you can see that those are the zodiac signs.

Whatever it is, I look at things normally. As normal as possible. As long as it is not obviously harassing Islam, I'd say it's just a normal PC game for you to play during your spare time.

But then, it is up to you on how you want to perceive whatever you see.

Total fiction

2009-11-22T01:47:00.004+08:00

you won't probably read this, and you won't even know I'm posting this, but there are certain things that you need to know, certain things that I have to let out off my chest. So that you know, to proof how good the distribution of your genes inside this DNA of mine.

I have all the answers for all your arguments, and the rebuttals of mine are so good, you won't be able to answer them all. I'm sorry for bragging, but it's true.

First and foremost,

I wish you would have just a little bit more of common sense. The simplest thing that exists in every single sane human. COMMON SENSE. We both are so, SO realistic, and we keep our feet both to the ground, but you need to add a little it of common sense to it. You lack that. I won't exactly tell you what is it that shows your lack of common sense, because even if I tell you that, you won't be able to comprehend my feelings. To understand exactly how it would make me feel.

The next thing that I want you to know is very hurtful, that I'd apologize first for even saying it. I just want you to know that you are too late. Well, we both are too late. Some things are meant to be broken, and unfixed. That is what we have become. You blame me for every single thing that you did, and I don't think you even realize your mistakes, because you kept looking at people's. Was it my fault that you were always busy with work? Was it my fault that I'm now busy with my studies? Was it my fault that I can't even feel comfortable around you? Was it my fault that I don't even know your favourite colour, your favourite food, and that I sometimes forget your birthday?

I'm sorry, but in our case, time does not heal. It KILLS

I don't even know what am I dealing with now. You, your age, your mood, or your inevitable habit of hurting other people. I don't know, I don't really know. Frankly speaking, I can't even think of what's right, and what's wrong anymore. I can't. Do you how does it feel being trapped between two junctions, that you have to make your decision fast and not being able to mend anything once you've made that once particular decision? That you cannot turn back at anytime to fix anything?

I'm now stuck. Stuck between both of you, and I don't know which way to trust, which way to go. I'd rather stay alone. Not with you, nor with the other person. Let it just be me.

transfixed in this absolute bliss..

2009-10-31T07:19:00.005+08:00

Salam and hi

This latest post is merely out of boredom that I'm in now, due to the fact that I'm done with the exams . Now checking PHP reports to be submitted , maybe tomorrow or day after tomorrow. I have to admit, after one whole semester of studying and reading, it seems a little awkward that it all ends in a few days. One whole semester of reading, programming, calculating, memorizing, all ends in a matter of few hours .

A lot of people asked me:

why do I study so hard?
why do I seem not to enjoy life as it is?
why do I seem struggling for every bit that I learned, for everything that I read, for everything that I tried to understand?
tiap2 kali aku datang bilik ko mesti duduk kat meje je..

I don't even have good answers for all that. Frankly speaking. And to be perfectly honest, there are so many things you can do with a PC other than checking out lecture slides and searching for notes ;)

Get what I mean?

Come on people. I don't sit here for hours reading my eyeballs out and coding till my hands go numb. I read, I jot down few stuff, and I open up Facebook. I play games, quite frequently. And I check out latest techs. Like this one:

USB 3.0 thumbdrive. Get me this, please =p

Aku bukanlah kaki study sangat, okay?

I admit I have my own ways of enjoying life. If I don't like watching movies, TV series, and a whole lot of other normal stuff people usually do to have fun, does that make me look like I'm not enjoying myself? Duhhh

There are so many things I've learned during this 1st semester of 2nd year. How we should be grateful over everything that we have, no matter how bad it may seem. Not to only feel the need to say thanks only when we get whatever we desire for.

I sometimes feel I'm a little too futuristic. A lot of people said I look too mature for my age. Yeah I guess they are right. Because experience thought me. Experiences *good and bad* turn me into something that I am today.

I'm quite intrigued by the fact that people can be just too childish. I can't seem to put myself in their place. And I think I know why.

Bila dulang mengata paku, yang dulang pun jadi paku...

2009-10-09T12:51:00.005+08:00

Sekadar posting picisan mungkin, cuma diharap kepada sesiapa yang membaca, sila baca menggunakan akal.

Salam dan hi.

Setelah beberapa kali aku cuba mengulangkaji Genetic Engineering yang semakin banyak menelan neuron (RAM..?) kepala aku ni , aku pun macam sudah penat, dan membuat keputusan untuk bermukabuku/bukumuka (aku pun tak tahu la mana satu yang betul) dan melayari Facebook kawan2.

Dan aku agak tertarik dengan satu penyakit rakan-rakan Facebook yang kadang-kala membuatkan aku tersenyum sorang2 macam orang gila (bukan semua okay)

Penyakit bergaduh di Facebook

Aku tahu kadang-kala aku pun emo juga, suka buat status2 yang mendatangkan kontroversi (dan kesusahan pada aku sendiri =_="), cuma pada aku, there are some things which should stay in reality, and certain things are meant to be inside the cyber world. Not somewhere else.

Aku sebenarnya tertarik dengan komen sesetengah pengguna Facebook yang kadang-kala membuat aku rasa macam nak sepak aje. Serius cakap. *ceh aku pun dah mula emo hehe

Aku cukup tak suka apabila ciri sesuatu bangsa didefinisikan dari sikap mereka. Ya, aku cukup pantang bila ada antara orang-orang Melayu sendiri yang berapi-api mengutuk bangsa sendiri dan terlalu cepat melatah atas apa yang aku fikir sungguh kebudak-budakan.

"Melayu memang camtu, Melayu memang camni bla3.."
"Melayu kan, perangai die memang camni.. bla3.."

Habis tu, kau bukan Melayu? Kau bercakap macam tu, maksudnya merujuk pada diri kau jugalah. Tak begitu?

Pada aku, Melayu sebegini lupa diri. Lupa yang bangsa yang dikutuk tu bangsa sendiri, dan tidak keterlaluan kalau aku katakan orang-orang sebeginilah yang sebenarnya mencemar nama baik bangsa Melayu itu sendiri.

Mahu aku senaraikan ciri-ciri orang sebegini?

cakap berapi-api menyumpah bangsa sendiri, walhal hanya segelintir sahaja yang bersikap macam sampah. Pada aku, orang yang ada ciri ini pun sampah juga
rasa bangsa lain itu sempurna, dan bangsa sendiri banyak kekurangannya.
Sering menggunakan ayat "Melayu mudah lupa", "Melayu memang camtu camni" bla3. Jika ditanya mengapa, jawapan yang mungkin terpacul dari mulut "dah memang Melayu macam tu, nak buat cmne"
berlagak bagus, padahal dia pun dua kali lima. Bak kata pepatah, mengata dulang paku serpih, mengata orang dia yang lebih

Bab-bab bangsa Melayu memang aku cakap straight to the point no kona2 kiri kanan okay. Aku benci dikelilingi orang lupa daratan sebegini. Sebab aku Melayu, aku sayangkan bangsa aku dan aku tak suka orang bangsa aku sendiri menyumpah seranah bangsa sendiri atas apa yang aku fikir kelemahan manusia biasa. Tanpa mengira apa bangsa sekalipun. Yang membuat aku makin terkilan apabila cakap2 sampah sebegini diutarakan oleh mahasiswa/i yang dikelilingi oleh 100% bangsa Melayu sendiri *dah tahu, diam-diam sudah.

Dah duduk satu bumbung satu bangsa, itu pun sudah macam2 dingomelkan. Bagaimana mahu hadapi dunia luar?

Aku berani jamin, jika ada komen2 pedas singgah di tulisan aku yang apalah sangat ini, ianya akan datang dari orang-orang yang ada ciri2 yang aku sebutkan di atas. Yang akan menggunakan bahasa rojak I you I you campur saya awak saya awak. To you people, think twice or thrice before commenting.

(semua posting aku diasingkan penggunaan Bahasa Inggeris dan Bahasa Melayu. Artikel rojak adalah peribadi, DIULANGI PERIBADI. Jadi jangan buang masa nak komen artikel rojak aku dengan harapan dapat bom aku dengan komen-komen bodoh. Aku tiada masa nak layan).

I don't know if help is what I need now

2009-10-03T13:54:00.001+08:00

Salam and hi..

I had a very disturbing nightmare yesterday . And it has been 1 week, I had the same nightmare reoccurred. I don't know if it's due to my hormones going gaga, or stress, but I have to say that a creepy dream is the last thing I want in my life now .

I was somewhere with my family. Me, my mother, and my siblings. We were at this house. It seems like our house, but I'm not so familiar with it. The arrangement is quite different. And I hate the eerie vibe of it. That house was quite messy, like it has been left for a very long time. It looks a lot like that place has just gone through a war or a horrible massacre. I was lost, like mentally lost. I have to admit, I'm scared.

We were scared of something. I don't know if it's a creature, ghost, devil, whatever, but one thing for sure, we were scared of that particular being. As if it's going to come anytime and put a whole lot of terror upon us.

I could see the fear in my mom's eyes. And my sister. And my brothers too. We were all scared. I kept getting this recalling image in that nightmare, of that horrible-Devil-looking creature coming at us and trying to scare the hell out of us. It didn't even touch us, but just the sight of it makes me lose all the taekwondo I've had for almost 10 years. I felt scared, the first time in 20 years, over a creature, in a nightmare. A ghost. Devil, whatever you want to name it.

I could hear something bashing the door and trying to get into the room we're in. At this point I know I was only having a nightmare, and I was still asleep on my bed, but I couldn't get up, and I couldn't even open my eyes. I was like, stuck in that realm, and I couldn't escape. It felt awful. Terribly awful.

If it wasn't for Chak who knocked on my door to get a Cintan, I guess I must've gotten stuck inside that nightmare for a longer time. That is NOT what I want. No nightmare, scary creature, nothing.

Tekken. Demam Tekken

2009-09-23T16:13:00.003+08:00

I can't wait for Tekken the movie to come out. I put high hopes on it, really. I played the game since PS1 was out, and now the movie?!

Excited excited
the casts are great too. Can't wait to see Nina. Christie too. Eddy. Kazuya. Oh God . And Yoshimitsu will be in as well. Can't imagine how he'll look like. Total CGI maybe?

I will have difficulties sleeping after this. Well, that is until the movie is out, and I watch it. Gosh. Can't wait

you and I.. collapsed in love

2009-09-22T15:40:00.002+08:00

this is the cover version by littleboots. i love this. i love this. i love this. i swear i love this. please, play this for me. anyone. YOU. play this song. please. sing this for me

Loving every single day

2009-09-19T01:37:00.005+08:00

I'd just like to make a very brief (will it be brief?) confession of what I truly feel about this whole Facebook Myspace Friendster thing.

I don't know why, but people seems to have this tendency of having online friends than real ones. Like, you know, those people who have like 400++ friends on Facebook but none in their real lives?

It is quite awkward to me that people seems to have much trouble trying to get out from their Facebook realm and actually take the friendship to real life instead. Like, can't you just go up to the person and say hi, rather than clicking 'Like' on Facebook or comment away on their posts?

Anyway, I'd like to wish Salam Aidilfitri to everyone. Maaf Zahir Batin atas segala salah dan silap. Saya hanya manusia biasa yang diciptakan tidak sempurna, dan sentiasa berbuat salah

*Pasar Bagan Serai

I miss Raya when I was small. Everyone seemed to have so much fun. Me and my cousins, my siblings. But now things are so different. Like way too different. Everybody seems to have their own lives, and busy with their own stuff. Back then when my grandparents were still around, everybody would be around, and we'd break fast together. And my aunties would spend their time joking, chatting, and basically teasing us the small kids. Those were the days, now they're gone .

Now, Raya means me and my family. Only us. Sometimes with extra crew members (remember K.Win?). But nevertheless, I'd make it a fun occasion. Being grateful is all I can do. People in other places are not even celebrating, so why make such a big fuss over the absence of everyone?

Uncool = lose = bodoh. So not

2009-09-10T13:05:00.006+08:00

Salam and hi..

I feel quite intrigued by this article, posted by a friend of mine in her blog. Mind you, all that sounds familiar to me.

Fact #1: I'm one of those rare species that never give a damn about Harry Potter, the book and the movie .

Yes. I don't watch Harry Potter, and I find it uninteresting as a Data Structure assignment. But I have absolutely NO PROBLEM with people who likes it, who lives by it and who follows it sampai ke tahap hafal novel tu. I hope people respect me for that.

Fact #2: yes. I'm not interested in watching Transformers (the movie, not the cartoon), Final Destination movies and few others

Yes, I know, Transformers movies are so cool bla3. But if I don't like it, does that made me uncool? A loser? Far from yes I should say.

Fact #3: Yes, I rarely listen to the radio, and I don't really follow mainstream music

In my head, there are only few people and bands which I think possess the quality that I like, and the music that I enjoy. So if I choose to listen to what I like and not some of the rubbish in the radio (SOME, IF NOT ALL), it's because my ears like what I like to hear. My ears love Imogen Heap, Frou Frou, Little Boots, Hot Chip, La Roux, Kerli, Basshunter and many other unknown music freaks. So ?

Fact #4: I don't wear make-ups. Not even a slightest hint of blusher, bedak etc

Even if I look so utterly horrible like a baboon, make-up is a no-no on my face. Even if I have the biggest, largest pimple on my forehead. Concealer? Nahh. Contact lenses? Nope. Mascara? Tak payah. Let this face stay the way it is.

Fact #5: I wear what I want, I wear what I like. Even if people finds it ugly

I don't follow fashion, and I only wear what I think I want to wear. So what if I want to wear a spacesuit pun?.

Fact #6: Aku berpegang pada konsep suka hati oranglah nak buat apa, nak suka apa, nak minat apa, janji orang tak kacau aku. As long as being myself doesn't hurt people, I'd stay as I am .

Fact #7: I love Star Wars

Fact #8 and the biggest: I often enjoy what people don't like, and I often have no interest in what people like.

A loser is someone who quits without even trying, and one who does not have perseverance. Not someone who does not like Harry Potter, make-ups and stupid rubbish on the radio .

A new item in my wishlist

2009-09-09T03:26:00.006+08:00

Lately I feel so tired. Partly because of Data Structure assignment, and stressing over my studies. But most the reason why I feel so tired is because of my unstable emotions being drained lately (apa yang drain entah ).

Ye, rasa macam emosi melimpah-ruah ke ladang gandum. Adeh. Sampai begini teruk kesan PMS. Even the smallest thing would become a gigantic fuss to me.

Rasa macam nak buat macam ni. Tapi rambut dah banyak gugur. Nanti aku takde rambut pulak.

So anyway, I'm looking for sponsors for our Taiwan delegation.

Anyone of you interested?

Platinum and Gold sponsors (RM5000 above) will be featured on our Facebook group page, and our official blog as well. Not forgetting, you (or your company) will secure a spot on our banner, and we'll be doing promotional effort in Taiwan for your company. Isn't that a good boost for you to explore the international market? Hehe

*ada ke CEO company besar2 nak baca blog aku yang tak seberapa ni?

Just trying my luck here

I'm now crazy over Little Boots and her main instrument Tenori-On . Please, get me her, get me that instrument. Please.

Please get me this. It's only RM6000. Ehehehe lawak bodoh tunggu sahur

2009-09-05T03:30:00.000+08:00

Dah lama aku tak jenguk blog ni. Rasa macam dah sedikit bersawang da. Huhu

Last few months I've been a little too busy with SUKAM and MiTC. Not to mention assignments and presentations that took most of my free time . Data Structure's assignment got me feeling a little miserable , partly because I finished the assignment at the very last few minutes (seriously. I submitted the assignment at 11.44pm. The due date was 11.55pm 29th July Malaysian Time).

During the course of finishing the assignments, I looked like a grumpy tapir. Serius cakap. Tak habis-habis mencarut . I'll be doing programming for the rest of my life. I can't be cursing like that until the day I die.

Nevertheless, BLAST presentation was great. I love BLAST now after knowing how to use it, so it's kind of cool. The others were great too, and I wish I had the time to explore all the softwares and tools we are learning.

Ah, SUKAM. I lost all games. Paintball's stupid score counting system, handball's last minute training and lack of stamina, and squash's lack of training. Malas dah aku nak cakap apa2. Nanti aku marah lagi. Frust gila ni

I love the DTX drumset. Can someone buy me one? Please?

p/s: a day before our last handball game, I went out with my buddies to get a new sports shoe and basically teman them shopping lah. I looked like a young mom bringing her two kids shopping for toys =_="

Cerita PC Fair

During PC Fair, Nisa and I went to Persada to buy the components to build my 'baby'. Hehe . We actually spent 50% of the time walking around looking for ATM machine. There's one near that Persada, but the line was like 50km long .

When it's PC Fair, I guess you people know how hectic it can be. Serius ramai gila orang, sesak gila, dengan barang-barang yang boleh tahan berat aku bawa kehulu-kehilir. Nisa memang best lah. She helped a lot, so our lunch that day at Pizza Hut was on me hehehehe .

Here's the new-born baby. Her name is Arlene, taken from my omputeh name =_=".

I'm feeling kind of lazy to type in all the specs here, so if you think you want to know about all of them, kindly check my facebook notes. Hehe

JCard Day. And wasting every day

2009-07-16T12:02:00.007+08:00

Last week I just found out that there is such thing as JCard Day. A day for Jusco Card members to shop till they drop, because during this day, INSANE discounts are given for various items. Clothes, foodstuffs, shoes, beddings, you name it, they have it all.

And you know how HECTIC can Jusco Taman U be during this day?

Sorry for the blurry picture. I snapped this while walking to McD.

I got myself a bunch of undies , a nice (and cheap) Cheetah sports top and a new blanket, MooMoo. Want to see it?

I'll be having a very MOOeey sleep after this . Hehe

Ouh, people are bringing up the subject of second year studies. Want to know my story?

Things are going great. Really great . Tak tahulah aku nak cakap macam mana. Hehe
The timetable is okay, mostly because I only took 15 credit hours this semester (macam mana aku nak tarik English bila seksyen dah penuh? =_="). I like the fact that I only have 3 days of classes (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday) and 4 days without class, but this will not be good for my studies somehow. I know I will not really study during those 4 days

The subjects are great too (lie). Introduction to Bioinformatics is actually about statistics. Lots of it. And few discrete mathematics too. Ouh, we have another subject on discrete mathematics, but it is called Discrete Structure, or in Malay, Struktur Diskrit. Tahu tak subjek ni kami belajar dalam Bahasa Melayu?

Takpe. Martabatkan Bahasa Melayu. Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa (aku positif kan? =))

I love Genetic Engineering though. And the book too. Seriously. I hope I can get A+ for this subject, but it will not be easy. Lots of techniques to remember, terms and steps to memorize, and insane reading and understanding involved. With the absence of lab (ye, kami tiada lab untuk subjek Bio. Boleh faham tak macam mana susah nak bayangkan Gel Electrophoresis tanpa lab? Nasib baik ada Mr. Youtube and Dr. Chan yang kelakar ), things get a little tougher. But then, they will work out. I know they will.

sayang buku ni =)

Data Structure paling kelakar. Aku serius lupa header files, class, constructor bla3. Macam orang bodoh baru belajar C++. These past few days I tried to recall some of the C++ mojos we've learnt past semesters and I'm picking up the pace little by little. I hope I can finish the first assignment fast, because I need to study back few stuffs about class and pointers (yang tak faham tu sila tanya Mr. Google atau semak posting lama aku di blog ni)

I love the new ustazah teaching Islamic and Contemporary Issues (thanks Chak for the term. Love ya' ). She likes to laugh. Seriously. And I love her method of teaching. I can even develop a theory for her method you know

For every slide which has approximately 6 sentences, she'll spend around half an hour giving her lecture (cerita sebenarnya). So, during that 2 hours of class, maybe only 4 or 5 slides are reviewed.

Ha, boleh bayangkan tak? Mengantuk aku dibuatnya.

I'll come up with other updates later. For those of you waiting for a tutorial, I'll post another one soon, but till then please be patient alright. I'm still adapting to the new timetable

Heartbreak Makes Me a Dancer

2009-06-27T23:45:00.001+08:00

Tau tak kertas hijau tu kertas apa?

Kertas tu, adik aku bagi. Sebelum kami pulang ke rumah selepas menghantar dia ke UIA

Aku baca kertas tu sekali sahaja semasa berjalan ke kereta, hari yang sama.

Dan sekali itu saja aku baca. Aku tak berani baca lagi, sebab nanti aku menangis. Tulisan dia je sudah boleh buat aku hilang rock depan manusia-manusia di UIA tu.

Review: Let The Right One In (Swedish: Låt den rätte komma in)

2009-06-24T22:58:00.000+08:00

I've watched this movie long time ago, but I forgot to write a review of it. Recently I've watched this movie again and mind you, minus the quite ridiculous storyline, I think this movie can rival Twilight based on the vampire-thing plot. Yeah this movie was not publicized much, partly because of the language, but it was well accepted internationally (minus in Malaysia).

Genre: Horror, thriller, romance
Duration: 114 minutes
Casts: Kåre Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson

Read the synopsis here

Reasons why I like this movie:

it is simple. Just love between two kids (Oskar and Eli), the typical bully scenario in school, and when you throw in something extraordinary (like that vampire thing), it adds to the colour.

the element of surprise. It is not often in a movie you can see a head fall into a swimming pool, along with a hand later. Surprisingly gore for a movie with two kids as the leads, I must say.

the language. Swedish can be fun and hilarious to listen to. Plus getting an insight on how people in other parts of the world are living (minus typical Americans and British) is mind-opening.

for those of you who can't stand boring movies with draggy storyline that keeps you numbing your mind like a slowpoke, this is not recommended. But if you like foreign movies as an alternative to your Hollywood's Twillight, this is one is definitely worth watching.

Save Me Before I Drown

2009-06-23T19:23:00.003+08:00

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

4. Tag 5 friends.

5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.

6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Good Song - Blur
*yeah. Good

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Eh, Eh (There's Nothing Else I Can Say) - Lady GaGa
*really. There's nothing else I can say :p

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Pray For The Girls - Frank Black
*haha good one hehe

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Throwback - Usher
*err..

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Supersonic - Sophie Ellis Bextor
*sungguh supersonic lol

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Low - Silverchair
*stay low is the way to go sometimes :p

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Be The One - The Ting Tings
*should I be the one? THE ONE? hehe

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
The Greatest View - Silverchair
*really? wow hehe

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Pick It Up - Fergie
*I am picking it up. Slowly but surely

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Everybody's Changing - Lily Allen cover version
*true sometimes

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Everlasting Love - Jamie Cullum
*love this =) syg awk slalu

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Spoiled - Joss Stone
*hahahahahahha. I don't have to wait. I'm already spoiled now :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Breathless - Shayne Ward
*betul.. =)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Bride in Dream - O2 Jam songs
*gilalah wey! hehe

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Scene Five: Through Her Eyes - Dream Theater
*what a coincidence O_O

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
In For The Kill - La Roux
*hahahaha. Hobi tu. Hehe

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Kelly - Van She
*Kelly who? Kelly Osbourne? Kelly Clarkson? hehe

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Sexy - Black Eyed Peas
*gahahahahahhahahahahhaha not a secret now! hehe merepek gila

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
The Fame - Lady GaGa
*ha, can anyone give me that? hehe

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Mawar Khayalan - Laila's Lounge
*you guys are 'mawars', but not 'khayalans'. hehe

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Dota - Basshunter
*hehe. I don't play Dota though

Tagged Friends
Fatin Radzi
Hanin
Amalina aka katak pisang
Irah
fint nama betul tak tau huhu

Untuk yang merindu dan dirindu

2009-06-21T19:27:00.008+08:00

Garfield and his friends have a new home. It's an old bakul Mama used to put us when we were still babies. Now, since it can't even occupy my huge and long legs, Mama gave it to Garfield and his friends. I put a pillow inside, and a towel to keep them warm. So every now and then you can see many many cats and kittens squeezing through each other to get a spot inside that warm bakul. Nice :)

Untuk sis: nah ni gambo2 yg aku kate nk tnjuk tu.. guu. Aku merindui kek mu! Choc moist satuuu!!! Gaaaa

Last but not least, it's FishyBola!

And I am now officially a believer of the fact that Moms are the best cook in the world, and the kitchen stuff is really on their fingertips. Know why I say this?

This morning I went to Mergong's Pasar Tani to buy some fish and veggies. Back home I went to the kitchen to clean the fish, throw the guts away stuff like that (ala, bahasa mudahnya siang ikanlah).

Every single time I cleaned them, I never get the perfect figure of a clean fish inside that sink. It was always quite horribly disfigured. Kesian pula aku tengok ikan-ikan tu. I literally ripped and squeeze whatever stuff that shouldn't be inside them (that's what Mama told me to do back then!)

But when Mama does it, man, that fish looked so sleek. I mean, at least you can still recognize the mouth. My fish on the other hand, has kind of two mouths. The outer and inner mouth. Gosh

before I *slaughter them

after the *massacre

look at its mouth

I'll be nice to them next time. Next time

Gila La Roux. Elly rocks!

2009-06-20T22:35:00.002+08:00

1. Kekasih saya adalah : Garfield. Hehe bolehkah?

2. Saya sedang mendengar : Basshunter - Dream Girl. I'm your dream girl ;)

3. Mungkin saya patut : pergi bersenam

4. Saya baru sudah : minum kopi cap tabik. Serius sedap

5. Beza rakan, sahabat, kawan : macam tiada beza

6. Saya tidak faham : kenapa perlu ada banyak programming language

7. Saya perlu mencari : cara yang betul untuk study

8. Ayat terakhir yang dikatakan kepada saya : dah minum kopi?

9. Makna kehidupan : bila bersama dengan orang yang kita sayang

10. Cinta itu adalah : sesuatu yang tak boleh dielak. Ainul cakap: komitmen. Saya agak setuju juga.

11. saya paling suka : Garfield. Macbook, La Roux. Sila tengok widget I like di sebelah kanan anda

12. Saya akan cuba : Ainul cakap: kawal emosi. Saya setuju

13. Mengapa rakyat Malaysia suka menggunakan LAH di akhir ayat mereka : itulah keunikan Malaysia

14. Telefon bimbit saya : bakal bertukar tangan. W902, wait for me!

15. Katil saya : Rumah BS- double, rumah AS- mana-mana pun boleh ;). Kolej- single yang ada Dino. Mesti ada Dino!

16. Soalan yang bagi saya tidak perlu ditanya : Soalan yang anda sudah tahu jawapannya tapi masih mahu tanya, dan soalan yang anda tahu ada potensi di mana jawapannya anda sukar nak terima.

17. Teknologi adalah : salah satu oksigen saya

18. Bagaimana saya boleh memasak masakan yang saya paling pandai masak : err, sebab semua orang tahu masak makanan tu?

19. Semalam : saya mula sukakan lagu Dream Girl. Sangat-sangat.

20. Hari ini : Saya penyekkan Kobe dua kali. Mula-mula dia takut, kemudian dia marah betul. Sorry Kobe. You're too cute to resist

21. Malam ini saya akan : online lagi. Mungkin main game, dan buat latihan programming

22. Esok pula saya akan : jadi orang gaji pada waktu pagi, main dengan kucing-kucing, dan online

23. Saya betul2 inginkan : 4 rata

24. badminton atau futsal : dua-dua pun okay

25. karaoke : TIDAK bagi saya. Menyanyi seorang diri lebih melegakan jiwa. Karaoke bukan cara saya menghilangkan stress atau berseronok

26. kereta : Honda S2000 atau Civic.

27. Bilik yang terang atau gelap : terang bila sedang belajar (saya seorang rabun gelap yang sangat teruk). Saya boleh tidur dalam apa jua keadaan bila sudah mengantuk.

28. Makanan jepun adalah : bukan citarasa saya

29. Ayat terakhir yang nak anda katakan pada seseorang : I miss you quite a lot

30. Siapa yang anda tag : Semua

Resolusi semester baru. Aku janji aku tunaikan (alamak x|)

2009-06-17T23:26:00.004+08:00

Rasanya ini kali kedua aku buat resolusi sebelum naik semester (yang pertama aku buat sekali dengan Tahun Baru), tapi untuk resolusi yang pertama, baru 10% yang dah tercapai. Selebihnya half-resolved, tak pun langsung tiada perubahan. Hehe. Semangat tak boleh pakai betul . Hehe. Untuk resolusi yang kedua ini, aku bawa kehadapan yang tak resolve lagi tu, dan tambah sedikit yang baru. Okaylah tu kan ;)

untuk senarai lama, sila ke sini, dan untuk review, klik sini

tambahan:

1) tambah senarai programming language yang perlu dipelajari (semua programmming language yang biasa, cuma tambah BIO di depan ). Aku mesti belajar web programming sendiri. Makanya untuk aku mencapai resolusi yang satu ini, MESTILAH RAJIN BUAT LATIHAN PROGRAMMING! INI TIDAK, ASAL BUKA LAPTOP, TERUS SAMBUNG INTERNET DAN MAIN. MAIN TAK HABIS-HABIS .

AKU AKAN BUAT LATIHAN PROGRAMMMING. JANJI!
AKU AKAN BUAT LATIHAN PROGRAMMMING. JANJI!
AKU AKAN BUAT LATIHAN PROGRAMMMING. JANJI!

(eh, apa susah sangat aku ni? )

class OutputLine {
public static void main(String[] args){
int count = 1;
do {
System.out.println("AKU AKAN BUAT LATIHAN PROGRAMMMING. JANJI!");
count++;
} while (count <= 10000000); } }

Ya! Aku sudah berjaya menguasai 60% Java. Lagi 40% akan aku kuasai semasa di UTM nanti

2) Aku mesti buat cardio exercise sekurang-kurangnya 2 kali seminggu, tidak termasuk TKD training. Traning pun tak boleh skip. Tak boleh langsung! (kecuali hal yang tak dapat dielakkan. Err, mengantuk boleh elak . Malas pun boleh elak. Okay =_=)

TOLONGLAH! PERUT DAH MACAM RAKSASA ULTRAMAN, BALIK KELAS TIDUR MACAM MEMERANG. Aku mesti bersenam supaya badan fit. Kalau tak aku tiada tenaga nak belajar. Otak aku punya oxygen demand sangat tinggi, macam tuan punya badan juga. Aku tak boleh terlalu bergantung pada Nescafe. Otak aku tak perlu begitu banyak anti-oxidants. Tolonglah pergi joging, squash, berenang, whatever.. (monolog dalaman ni )

3) Study macam seorang budak universiti. Jangan jadi nerd sangat. Nanti blur macam waktu finals. Sudahnya semua hasil usaha aku masuk sungai Cengal semasa finals. Mangkuk betul . Kualiti study tu penting, bukan kuantiti saja!

4) Buang perangai panas-baran yang tak perlu tu . Aku kena buat ini, kalau tak makin ramai yang akan menyampah tengok muka kelat aku (aku pun menyampah tengok). Minta maaf pada semua yang aku termarah dan terbad-mood. Aku memang poyo. Sorry sangat .

5) Rajin-rajin contact keluarga. Since my sister's not around, and me as well, Mama must've felt very lonely. Aku rasa macam mahu ajar Mama guna YM. Hehe. Jimat duit, boleh hubungi selalu =)

6) Belanja secara berhemah. Sekurang-kurangnya kurangkan perbelanjaan untuk junk food yang sememangnya tak perlu untuk orang yang mengejar figure ala Lady GaGa,dan kalau keluar tu, beli apa yang perlu saja. Tak perlu cari keseronokan di luar, cukup lepak main game sampai pengsan atau baca majalah. Oukay. Aku akan simpan duit. Nanti boleh pergi Alaska ^^ geehehehe .

Mungkin aku akan tambah lagi. Ini saja yang aku boleh fikir sekarang.

utk awk: org syg awk sgt.. always. sorry sbb slalu mrh awk.. slalu trase ngan awk.. org sensitif sgt la wen it comes to u..

Ajim yang sangat baik

2009-06-16T18:27:00.012+08:00

Semalam..

N = Aku
A = Ajim
M= Mama

Pintu bilik diketuk. Aku sedang online, main SuperPoke Pets macam nak pecah mata, dan memeriksa e-mail. It was 12 am I guess.

Macam intro cerita seram kan? Hehe

Adik aku rupanya. Dia datang membawa beberapa kertas soalan matematik dan sebatang pensel.

A: long.. tolong ajar bleh x? aku xreti la nak buat ni.. (muka sememeh. Macam takut pun ada)

N: ajar ape? homework? (suara macam marah. Maklumlah tengah main )

A: a'ah.. aku dah buat da, cume ade yang aku xbrape tau je. hang tolong la ajar.. mama soh hang ajar..

N: (berdrama pula) haa tu la cuti seminggu ko main game.. ko men PS sampai nk tkuar bijik mate.. ko ingat nnt resident evil tu kuar exam ke? klau main game boleh pulak, bt homework susah sgt.. pastu last minit bru nk siapkn.. datang blik aku wrong timing plak.. time aku tgh bz bru ko dtg.. mmg bt aku mrh btl la (dengan nada separuh marah, tetapi membebel tahap gaban. Aku bukan sibuk sangat pun sebenarnya)

A: (muka tak boleh blah. Macam mahu menangis. Siap sudah mahu kembali ke bilik mama) hmm xpe la..

N: (marah-marah lagi) ha mane yg tak tau tu? cepatlah!

A: (sambil menunjukkan beberapa soalan bahagi dan darab yang aku dulu pun tak tahu buat) ni die.. aku dah siap yg lain.. yg ni je aku xtau..

N: (terdiam sebentar. Agak kagum sebab adik aku tak sebodoh aku dulu. Dia tahu juga kira-kira)

A: hang tolong la ajar ni aku tak tau sgt lah..

N: (marah-marah) ala yang ni tukar fraction bahagi jelah mcm bese! mcm yg hang slalu bt tu! pastu yg mane yg kne tmbh kosong tu letak la titik!

A: (muke blur gila dan cuba untuk memahami) ouh... aku xphm la

N: ko ni bnde cmtu simple pn xphm ke? abes yg len ni bt cmne? bhagi jelah mcm bese! bla3 (tak boleh tulis sebab terlalu kasar untuk bacaan kanak-kanak bawah 10 tahun)

A: (muka macam mahu menangis. Terus ke bilik mama tanpa berkata apa-apa)

Mama pun datang ke bilik apabila mendengar singa betina sudah mengaum-ngaum tak tentu hala malam-malam buta.

M: laa hang buat mcm tu knape.. ksian die xtau.. tolong la ajar die..

N: arin xleh la maa.. hilang sabar pulak ajar2 org ni.. nasib baik x masuk yg tesl dulu tu.. g london pn klau nk mrh2 je bt ape.. mati student arin seme..

Mama sudah ketawa. Aku rasa kasihan pula pada Ajim. Lalu aku pun ke bilik mama untuk membantunya membuat homework. Sambil berjalan aku membebel-bebel pada Mama.

N: mane la arin xmrh.. org tgh ngantuk2 bru nk dtg.. wktu cuti dulu xnk bt.. pastu main game plak.. ngadap la resident evil tu smpai pengsan..

Mama ketawa lagi.

Di bilik Mama..

N: ha mane yg xsiap tu? cepat la aku ajar (marah-marah lagi)

A: yg ni..

Sambil aku mengajar, menerangkan tentang bagaimana mahu menukar 1/4 kepada decimal, Ajim membuat muka blur. Dia tak faham. Aku rasa kalau aku lembut sikit, mungkin dia boleh buat. Aku bercakap macam dia bodoh sangat, padahal aku dulu pun seperti dia. Lebih teruk mungkin. Tapi bila dia tak faham apa yang aku cakap, dan dia silap tulis angka 0 di tempat yang tak sepatutnya, aku hilang sabar pula. Masalah betul bila ada angin serupa taufan Katrina ini. Taufan nama adik aku sudah ada. Mungkin selepas ini ada taufan Arlina pula.

N: (membebel + marah + maki yang amat teruk. Aku tak mahu tulis)

Tiba-tiba Ajim menjawab:

A: hang ingat aku larat ka nak bt! bla3! aku da la ngaji ptg td! bla3! aku pnt la! (sambil meleleh airmata. Sudah geram sangat mungkin pada singa betina yang hanya tahu marah saja)

M: hang jgn mrh sgt die rin.. ksian die pnt td g ngaji seme.. ajar la die elok2.. die dr skola ade kelas tmbhn pastu trus g ngaji.. ptg bru balek ngan mama..

Ajim sudah menangis. Sumpah aku kasihan pula dengan dia. Tiba-tiba teringat Dr. Hazik pernah beritahu adik aku yang seorang tu cepat penat. Sampai kena ambil ubat penat waktu dia demam dulu. Spesis sakit saja semua. Dari yang sulung, sampai bongsu. Tiba-tiba buat aku terifkir, Mama sabar gila dengan aku. Seriously.

Tiba-tiba Mama, dengan nada macam perli berkata:

M: hang ni garang btl la.. seme nk mrh..

Sudahnya, aku ajar dia betul-betul. Walaupun masih ada marah-marah bebel-bebel bila dia buat silap. Aku buat lawak bodoh, tak mahu lihat dia menangis. Sebab aku sedih gila tengok muka dia dengan air mata mengalir laju macam air terjun Niagara. Bila aku buat lawak serupa Dory kawan bapa Nemo, dia ketawa, sudah cukup buat aku rasa lega.

Aku rasa bersalah gila marah Ajim. Dulu semasa aku sebaya dia, aku lagilah bodoh. Selalu kena marah dengan cikgu, homework tak siap, dapat tempat tercorot di kelas. Sekurang-kurangnya Ajim tak seperti aku. Jika aku sezaman dia, aku sudah ketinggalan jauh di belakang dia. Tapi dia rajin. Better than me, to say the least. Itu pun aku marah dia teruk-teruk. Padahal dialah yang paling baik dalam keluarga . A home boy who likes Doraemon and video games, and very much too naive. Apa yang ada di sini yang aku marah dan bebel pada Ajim tak sama dengan keadaan sebenar yang jauh lebih kasar dan teruk bahasanya.

Aku ada masalah panas baran yang semakin luar biasa. Benda kecil pun mungkin boleh membuat aku menjerit satu rumah . Garfield pun kena marah. Apa nak jadi dengan aku entah .

Aku kena pergi anger management. And I know just the right place and person to give me those therapies :) awk la =) you know who you are, right?

P/S: Orang-orang yang ada adik, dan terutamanya sulung, mungkin faham perasaan aku

Virgo

2009-06-14T23:57:00.003+08:00

This is the most accurate description about me (Virgo that is) that I've ever read.

Virgo

You may seem cold and detached, yet at times you can actually be quite outgoing. This is because your perception is your reality. If you have a negative outlook, your life will include negative twists and turns and you will often retreat into your inner feelings. If you have a positive outlook, your life will feel positive and you will be a more pleasant, upbeat person to be around. You are sensitive to your surroundings, but you don't like to analyze your feelings. You are inclined to tell people that everything is going well, even when it is not.

Emotions
You appear calm to friends and family, but inside you are always analyzing and thinking with a high degree of nervous energy. You can tire yourself out without even moving. You have a constant need to perfect, which can easily lead to you being perceived as picky and finicky by your family and friends.

Virgo Decisions
Some people might think that you are indecisive or slow to make a decision. In fact, you are just taking your time to weigh all the facts before you decide what you are going to do. You are very good at problem-solving because you like to separate all the elements, think about each one and then slowly put them back together again to determine what they all mean. Your rational thinking often frustrates other people

Family and friendship
You have charm and dignity, and you appear to be cheerful and agreeable. People seek you out to be your friend, but they sense that it is best to wait until you show you're ready. Once you do, they will appreciate your truthfulness, loyalty and determination

Romance
Virgos like planned dates – nothing spontaneous. You tend to embarrass easily. You worry about what is going to happen or be discussed on dates and in relationships. You don't like people probing your mind and asking you a lot of questions until you have formed a strong relationship with them. Even then, you do not feel very comfortable being asked questions.

There's a catch: Kobe

2009-06-14T01:57:00.005+08:00

I know, I know, people are waiting for an update. Hehe kidding.

You know, sometimes inferiority can put a damp on you. While a moderate amount of it can actually be your fuel to do something better, a little bit more can actually kill your self-esteem (gore gila. Hehe).

I'm a person with quite a considerable amount of confidence, but sometimes you really have to keep faith in what you are capable of and never give up. That's what I'm doing now.

I'm scared of maths. Everyone knows this .

I'm not scared of numbers. Really (konon). But when I'm faced with something I can't even digest inside this thick skull of mine, my confidence level would go down low, low as the bottom of Mariana's Trench. Seriously .

And not just with Maths, anything. Biochemistry, TKD, programming. Even in my personal life as well.

Ouh well, things will figure out by themselves .

I'm ready for this.

Lately I've been very obsessed with Kobe. She's just too cute, and she's the fiercest (is this even the right superlative?) and the most difficult to catch among those bunch. But I love her. I LOVE HER .

I literally scrunched her face in my two hands up to a point where she couldn't take it no more, she bit me on the nose and scratched me. Ouh Kobe, you're cuter when you bulge your eyes and make your 'garang + otai' face . Seriously. You're just too lovely, like Garfield =)

Okay the truth is, I'm really facing something you call PMS . And all this nonsense are actually caused by the fact that I can't get what I want. So this is just a typical jealousy case I've yet to overcome.
Sumpah aku benci rasa macam ini. Makes me feel helpless and hopeless. Jangan sampai aku jadi some psychomaniac sudah .

I'm trying to be very nice by treating others as how they're supposed to be treated regardless of how I'm feeling, because it makes me feel good as well. I have to quit all this. I have to quit feeling jealous over something I can't change. I have to. I really really really have to . And 1 thing is really true, SMILE is one way for you to be happy. No kidding guys

P/S: next tutorial coming up soon. So sorry for the laziness to update. I can't be too free to give a little TLC to this blog.

41-6c-6c-20-74-68-69-73-20-69-73-20-63-61-75-73-65-64-20-62-79-20-79-6f-75-2e-20-49-5c-27-6d-20-6a-65-61-6c-6f-75-73-20-6f-76-65-72-20-74-68-65-20-66-61-63-74-20-74-68-61-74-20-49-20-63-61-6e-5c-27-74-20-62-65-20-6e-65-61-72-20-79-6f-75-20-6c-69-6b-65-20-79-6f-75-72-20-66-72-69-65-6e-64-73-20-61-72-65-2e-20-53-6f-72-72-79

straight.to.your.eyes.gahaha

insights

100

*)^)^*&_%)#&%*&)#@&%)@#%(&)&

rotten

someone like you

?

for things to be quiet?

a week with budak-budak

=)

Tetrastar - Memory - Acoustic (Sugarcult cover)

tengok dramakah kamu?

cik adik~

Superpowerless - We Throw Shapes - Official Music Video

mungkin saya patut..

facts

=_=

.

PAMA

otak tak center dah ni

I just have to

Mama

Be bold

Dear you, whoever you are

Me and Fedora

breastfeeding

Kau jual burger je. Apa barang

cekodok semut

Wishlist oh wishlist

When you are yourself, and not what people thought you are

2001-2006

Award

RIP Putih aka Boboy

Memories with my debate team

Selamat Hari Guru

Journey to Taiwan: Episode 1

Beautiful blogger..? O.o

asking and wanting

ni la KL!

Kepada auntie

25 random things

Report writing 101 (I think it should be 50, not 101)

...

It's study week, after all

shall we run now?

I'm on my way to kill people

Tips to improve your English

spicy chicken. Nyum nyum!

CUNx Tuesday

...

Scarlet ribbons

Taiwan lai lai lai!

4 eyeballs

Currently Coolblogging =p

so near, yet so far =(

Semangat assabiah zaman moden

pelik tapi benar

PRK UTM edisi 4

A little something

dari mahasiswa, untuk mahasiswa

PRK UTM edisi 3

PRK UTM edisi 2

facebook statuses

I'm stressed out!

stereotype media dunia - bila orang ISLAM yang bom gereja, semua nak kecoh. Al-Quran kena pijak, umat Islam dibunuh, peraturan bodoh pakai burqa kena denda sampai beratus euro, takde pun nak kecoh?

Bias media yang dikawal kuasa dunia. ANDA menentukan apa yang anda baca

let's go green!

we always whine about how other people would always stare at this closed door without realizing another that has been opened for them. What if BOTH doors are open?

Choosing might be tougher than having to accept what you have =)

PRK UTM

Review: Command & Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath

Ingat perempuan cantik dan berbadan menarik ada dalam beauty pageant je? Hello, ketinggalan zamanlah. Melalui game inilah aku kenal apa erti perempuan tough berbadan seksi gila. Megan Fox dah lama kalah dengan mereka-mereka ni.

mata buntang

I will annoy people. Seriously

A story

First pictures with Canon 400D [kissdigitalX]

sukahati

Guitar Hero III

Total fiction

transfixed in this absolute bliss..

)^)^&_%)#&%*&)#@&%)@#%(&)&